Adoption Story: Chris and Abigail

When a young couple talks about the idea of adoption while they're still dating, they don't know yet how God will use those stirrings to someday add a little one to their family. Today Chris shares from a father's heart the story of the adoption of their son.

Abigail and I have always had a heart for adoption. I vividly remember having conversations about our desire to adopt when we first started dating. We knew that these conversations would eventually become a reality, we just weren’t sure when. We were blessed with the birth of our first child, Emma Kate, in 2017, but then started experiencing infertility issues as we attempted to continue growing our family. Even though this time was challenging, and often marked by pain and disappointment, it ultimately allowed us to clearly see God opening the door to adopt. 

In August of 2019, we decided to trust God’s guidance and started the adoption process with the help of Christian Adoption Consultants. God continued to grant us peace that adoption was His plan for our family as we navigated the home study process, designed our profile book, and started having intentional conversations with our family and friends. Susan, along with our case workers from other partnered organizations, were absolutely invaluable as we prepared our heads, and more importantly our hearts, to go through the various steps of adoption. 

In early March we were matched with an amazing expectant mother in Arizona. Over the next five months we engaged in weekly video calls with her. Words cannot express how thankful we were for this sweet time. These calls allowed us to establish a strong relationship grounded in trust and love, and share our hopes for our son’s life and how we wanted her to be involved. 

In the beginning of July we received a call that our birth mother might be heading into early labor and the doctors were anticipating her to deliver within 48 hours. We quickly changed our travel itinerary, threw some clothing in bags, and jetted off to Arizona. It turned out to be a false alarm but allowed our family to spend two weeks praying, remaining hopeful, and resting in God’s sovereignty. An induction was scheduled a few weeks later and Abigail got to spend quality time with the birth mother through the labor process and the days that followed, strengthening their bond and learning more about her story.

Bailey (chosen by his strong birth mother) Law (a family name on both extended family sides) was born on July 28, 2020. An unexpected two week stay in the NICU for Bailey forced us to rely on God and cling to Him for strength, discernment, and peace. We were so thankful for the guidance that CAC and our agency provided to us during that difficult time. We feel honored to be chosen by God and Bailey’s birth mother to be his parents and welcome him to our family. We continue to have a close relationship with his birth mother and can’t wait to see how it will grow throughout the years.

Our hope for Bailey’s life is found in Proverbs 3:3-4 which says “Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.”

Adoption Story: Ben and Michelle

Adoption is full of waiting. Waiting to know if adoption is the way to grow your family. Waiting for the home study to be completed. Waiting to know if you were approved for grants. Waiting to see situations. Waiting to hear if you've been chosen. Waiting for a baby to be born.

But what do you do when the wait is much longer than you anticipated? What do you do if hurdle after unexpected hurdle comes up and you wonder if adoption was really the right way to grow your family? What do you do when you wonder if this was really the best path for you?

Today Michelle shares their long journey of waiting. How she wrestled with never having a promise from God that a baby would be at the end of the wait. And how she learned that following God and being obedient in the midst of it was exactly what her heart, and her family, needed.

Photo credit: Jen Moore Photography

As I sit down to write our adoption story, I wonder where to begin. Do I begin in third grade as my best friend of the year, Angela, told me about living in foster care? Do I begin as Ben and I sat at Cedarville University in a lounge talking about how many kids already needed homes? Or do I begin seven years ago when, after Nathanael’s birth, I had an emergency surgery that reminded me that I didn’t need to get pregnant again to have another child?

All of these are great places to begin. They are all part of our story. There are countless other moments that we considered adoption before acting on it. Ben once answered a survey saying if I were famous it would probably be for running an orphanage. Our hearts have been willing for a long time. However, I think I should start with the first adoption I really knew; being adopted by God. You see I was born into a sinful world, with a sinful family, and with a sinful heart. Jesus came and lived a perfect life and laid down his life so that I may become part of his family. He died to pay for my sins and adopted me into his family. Feeling love from someone who chose me and sacrificed for me, they are the real reason we could keep trying. If I didn’t tell you about this adoption, our perseverance wouldn’t make sense. 

We actually began the work of adoption four and a half years ago. We signed up with Susan at Christian Adoption Consultants, to help navigate the process of adoption. Four and a half years is a long time, but we didn’t get far into the process before deciding to pause it when several traumatic events happened. We needed go through some healing first before we would have time to work on the adoption. Through my own healing I decided to become a Biblical Counselor along the way. We decided to stop putting life on hold for tragedies or hardships and just pursue adoption in the midst of life.  

The next year and a half of waiting held more trauma with extended family divorce, a sibling having a stroke, a near adoption, a failed adoption, and family members’ still birth. And in the midst of it all a world wide pandemic and race protest going on in the background.  

Through all of this I had decided to try to breastfeed an adopted baby for the sake of bonding and for the best nutrition available for him or her. This itself was a hardship. My body took a while to adjust to the medicines and I had some unpleasant side effects along with other struggles. What I didn’t know was that  I began pumping the very week our daughter was being conceived. I pumped five to six times a day for the next eight months without being matched to ax expectant mom and baby.  I struggled on and off wrestling with if I was even supposed to adopt. Every time I prayed and was really down, I felt God assure me to ‘keep going.’ He never promised me a baby or assured me that the end result would be nursing, but he asked me to walk this road. Learning to walk a road without a known destination is hard.  

Finally we got a call that we thought was "the" call.  We were matched with a baby boy already born. I was so excited!  We packed in a hurry waiting to hear a final go ahead. But we never got that final go ahead. The mama had decided to parent. We prayed for her and accepted that this was yet another no or not yet.  

This is when I really had to surrender my plans. I no longer had hope we would adopt, but also did not feel released from the daily work of pumping. I cried out to God about it and once again said, "I will follow where you lead." I wanted assurance that we would adopt and that this pumping was for my baby, but I didn’t get that. I learned to do everything unto the Lord. My pumping, my paperwork, my daily task… their results were up to God. I am just called to follow and obey. We really don’t have control of the future. The Coronavirus has proven that to the world.  

We got a second call just two months later telling us “this is not a drill, pack your bags.”  The birth mom had already signed final papers and we needed to travel right away! Our baby girl was born at 35 weeks gestation, but perfectly healthy. We had our bags packed and were driving to the airport three hours later.  

We traveled during a surge Coronavirus cases in Florida, but once again it became background noise. We had a baby girl. Our three other children travelled a few days after us and joined us in Florida. We had a nice Airbnb and our seven year old even mastered swimming in Airbnb pool. We have some sweet memories in our daughter's birth state stay. All our kids adore her and they line up most mornings to hold her. 

As I finish writing this story we are mere DAYS from finalization. Our daughter is five months old and I'm unpacking the Christmas decorations.  I bought a fourth child stocking that last year and I hung it with hope. There were so many days that empty stocking caused sorrow and longing, but no longer. I get to hang a beautiful stocking for my beautiful girl.   

To those of you waiting… this is what I would remind you: God can do immeasurably more than you ask or imagine. You are not called to a destination, but a road. Walk it well.  

Adoption Story: Danny and Courtney

They were so sure.

I remember talking to Danny and Courtney for the first time and they told me they felt called to adoption. And that they felt like they would welcome twins. We had conversations about the process of adoption and holding loosely to any expectations. I watched them slowly release their dreams and desires to make room for God's perfect plan for their family.

Then we all stepped back and watched God do a miracle. Two miracles to be exact.

Our adoption story has one theme that continues to ring true: God's way is better than ours.

We get to pick and choose a lot of things in life and even in adoption. With adoption, we got to go through a check list of preferences. However, we found that God wanted us to be open to His plan. He is asking us to say yes; yes to his plan. Yes to His children. We had to get to a place where we let go of how we thought our adoption was going to look like and just say yes to God and whatever that looked like. 

From the beginning of our adoption journey, we believed we were called to adopt twins. We felt like one was going to be a boy. There was a time we felt like God said present to this single baby situation. So we did. That wasn't our baby, but God got our yes. Then he had us present to a born baby girl. Again, she wasn't our baby. God was slowly taking us away from our ideas and plans. He just wanted us to be willing to say yes to whoever he had picked for our family. I had to continue to remind myself to give up my dreams and my will and go after whatever God wants. We presented to single babies, we presented to born babies, we presented  to a sibling  group, and we presented to three sets of twins. All of those situations were clearly not ours. All of those "not yets" were really hard. Nobody really prepares you for the emotional roller coaster the adoption road can be. But let me tell you this: God never left our side. 

About six months into our journey, we felt like the Lord laid a song on our hearts to help us get through  the "not yet" situations: "Way Maker" by Leeland. In the song there is a part that says "Even when I don't see it, you're working. Even when I don't feel it, you're working. You never stop, you never stop working." We held tight to this song when we didn't have the words to pray anymore. We knew God is a way maker and a miracle worker. We just had to trust Him and His timing. 

In the process of completely giving our adoption over to God, we got a text from Susan from Christian Adoption Consultants. On March 11th she got an email about twin boys in the NICU and wanted to know if we were interested. We presented and a week later we got a message saying  the parents had chosen us! We quickly  jumped on a plane and headed to Connecticut the next day. Due to the pandemic that was just beginning, we were not able to see the boys in the hospital. Then because of covid the hospital released the boys early into state custody. This was one of the most nerve racking weeks we had to wait, not really knowing if the adoption would even happen. At this point the boys were three weeks old, we still hadn't met them, and we weren't even sure if they would be ours. After many days and much prayer, on March 26, 2020 the boys officially were released to us for adoption.

We were overjoyed, blessed, and completely in shock. Exactly one year and one day previous, in 2019, we had announced to our family and friends that we were taking a huge step in faith to adopt twins. What a year this was! There were things we were worried about like bonding with twins that were already several weeks old and traveling with the pandemic. But God had that too. The boys bonding has been amazing and we are eagerly waiting for our finalization court date.

Through all of this we are reminded God's plan far exceeds ours! It is far better than ours will ever be. I would encourage you, wherever you are in the adoption process to give the unknowns to God. His plan is better than anything we can dream up.

Adoption Story: Matt and Megan

Matt and Megan started working with Christian Adoption Services last summer. They spent the Fall completing their home study and were approved by Thanksgiving. Then the process of waiting began. Six months later, after a call that changed their life, they heard about the baby that would someday be their son. Almost one year to the day that they began their adoption journey they welcomed this sweet little guy into their family. Megan shares their story, their wait, and her advice today on the blog.

The number one piece of advice we would give someone considering adoption would be to remind them the adoption process is 100% in God's timing and control. 

With Susan's wonderful guidance, we tried to be very timely with getting our documentation and home study ready. However, at the end of the day, it was God's plan on when we would have our baby. There were many times where it seemed discouraging, but we would turn to prayer to help us through those tough times. I always knew adoption is in God's hands; however, when we were matched I truly believe now more than ever that God has his hand in the adoption process. 

We always thought we would be matched with an expectant/birth mother through an agency. However, when a local OBGYN reached out (she knew we were in the adoption process) with a potential expectant mother who was 29 weeks along, we were so thrilled and nervous to meet both the doctor and mother. We were extremely lucky to have the opportunity during our adoption process to not only attend the rest of the doctor appointments (our son's lovely birth mother invited us to each appointment) but we also had the opportunity to get to know our son's birth mother on a more personal level. 

We are not only extremely blessed to have our beautiful son, but we also have some wonderful stories to share with him as he gets older about his amazing, selfless birth mother. 

Patience really is a virtue!

Adoption Story: Sam and Lori

Everything can change in a moment. This was the case with Sam and Lori after waiting just a few weeks to be matched. A phone call about a mama expecting a boy...due in a few months. But then, a surprise call and just three days later they met their son.

And those weeks waiting weren't wasted. They had the chance to hear about other expectant and birth moms: learning a bit of their stories. The hard and the broken and the brave. And although they weren't matched with any of them, they had the amazing privilege and opportunity to pray specifically for each one. A mama. A father. A baby with their whole life ahead of them. Details some closest to them might not know that Sam and Lori could pray over specifically.

Sam and Lori's story is a beautiful reminder that God never wastes the wait. And that God is always working, even when we can't see it.

Sam and I met in 2007 and from the very beginning, we knew adoption or fostering would be a part of our story. We also knew we wanted a large family with a house full of kids. Fast forward to 10 years of marriage, two kids, and we were struggling to have a third. After some prayer and many heartfelt conversations, we felt called to pursue adoption. God's presence was felt from the very early stages as we went to church the morning after looking through the list of items we'd need to compile for the home study and reviewing budgets and costs. Feeling overwhelmed at the mountain of paper work and costs in front of us, our pastor spoke that morning about how we are called by God to father the fatherless. That was it: we were all in with both feet. 

We completed our home study in early March and met with Susan shortly thereafter. We believed God had the perfect child for us and because of that belief, we choose to present to almost every situation as we did not want to miss out on His perfect child for us. This resulted in a few months of "nos" and some questioning: Were we being told no because we already had two children? Would we ever hear a "yes"? We were ready now, why weren't we being matched? Susan helped to remind us that for each "not yet" some family received a "yes" and that we had the unique privilege of praying for these mommas and babies whom we had come to know ever so briefly and for their forever families. So that is what we started to do, and what a shift it made in both our reactions to the "not yets!"

On May 1st, we received a call from an agency. We had been matched with a beautiful mom just an hour and a half away from us, due in July with a baby boy. We were ecstatic, overjoyed, and the next morning we began to prepare for our baby boy. We called our family and told them the news. That night, the phone rang with a call from the agency. It was a Saturday and our hearts sank thinking the mom had changed her mind. It turns out the call was much different: she'd gone into labor ten weeks early and was expected to deliver the baby that night! We quickly packed and traveled to the hospital and at 1 am on May 3rd, I was able to meet our son in the NICU at 3 pounds and 9 ounces for the very first time. His mom and I visited into the very early morning hours and we continued to visit over the next several days and I am so grateful to have had this time with her. I was able to get to know her, her story, and the love she has for her son. 

May 6th, we were able to hold our tiny son for the first time and over the course of the next five weeks, Sam and I took turns visiting him in the NICU. Due to COVID, we were not able to be in there at the same time and our older children were unable to come visit him, but the NICU nurses were amazing. During the next five weeks, Lucas continued to defy the doctor's expectations and exceed and meet all of his milestones. At just 35 weeks and 5 pounds, we were able to bring him home. God during this time continued to provide for us and for Lucas. 

Lucas is now five months old and he continues to show us his strength and ability to overcome. He's been the most perfect addition to our family and we are so grateful for God's continued provision for us as he answers our prayers.

Adoption Story: Jake and Caitlyn

“Even when I don’t see it, You’re working. Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working. You never stop, You never stop working.” 

This song and these words inspired Jake and Caitlyn to keep going as they walked through their adoption journey. After hearing over a dozen "not yets," Mother's Day was hard as they ached to become parents. Little did they know, just like they prayerfully declared and hoped for, God had been working behind the scenes. Less than a month later, on Father's Day, they had the proof of God's work in their arms. Caitlyn shares the details of God writing their story today...

 

Adoption and having children biologically were always ways we were planning to grow our family. We both had seen firsthand the need for adoptive parents in this world through our overseas mission trips to Haiti, the Philippines, and Kenya. But like many others who share this plan, we assumed we would have children biologically first and then adopt a child. God, of course, had much more incredible plans for us. 

Our adoption story truly starts at the beginning of 2017 when I heard God tell me, more clearly than anything I’ve ever heard from God before, that our family would start through adoption. I didn’t hear how this would happen, so I had my own ideas pop into my head. At the time, we were not even two years into our marriage and just starting out in our careers, so the idea of domestic infant adoption didn’t cross my mind as it wasn’t exactly tangible financially speaking. I came to my own conclusion that we were supposed to pursue the adoption of an older child through foster care. So when I brought up what I heard from the Lord about our family starting through adoption and then the idea I put together for adoption, Jake rationally and calmly told me he wasn’t comfortable with that idea. He didn’t have any experience with children and wanted to gain experience raising a child from infancy before bringing in an older child into our family. If he didn’t feel the same calling as I did, then I figured I must have heard wrong. Unbeknownst to us, it was only my own idea of how we would adopt that was wrong, not what I had heard from the Lord about starting our family by adopting a child! 

In the late spring of 2019, we felt we would be ready to start trying for a child. Truthfully, we hadn’t talked or thought about adoption again since talking about it two and a half years previously. We had just begun trying when I clearly heard from the Lord (again) that we were supposed to be pursing adoption. And that’s when we realized how much our financial circumstances had changed from 2017. Jake started working for a large company in April 2019 that had a generous adoption assistance program and in early 2019, my company had just changed their adoption assistance program and it was the same generous amount. With both of these work programs plus the adoption tax credit, we realized we’d have more than enough funds to fully cover an infant adoption through an agency! It was so clear in that moment that God had been at work for years lining up our circumstances to be able to allow us to bring our first child home through domestic infant adoption with no financial burden to us. 

After doing some research and talking with a few agencies and consultants, we felt Susan and CAC were the perfect fit for us. We signed on in mid-August 2019 as the very first step in our adoption journey! We took our time in the home study process and became fully active and waiting by the beginning of January 2020. The one word I would use to describe the wait for us was peace. As a planner and someone who likes to hold on to the illusion of control, it was so clear to me that this peace could only be explained by God. A strong belief we felt throughout the whole process was that it was not about us finding a child, but that it was about us being the perfect family for a child and their biological family. When we would present and tell those expectant parents that we were praying for them and their children no matter what decision they made, we meant it. We wrote down every “not yet” and continue to pray for them to this day. It wasn’t easy as the “not yets” added up to over a dozen. But we felt such peace being able to pray over those situations, knowing that they found their perfect family, and being confident we would one day be that perfect family for someone else. 

When Mother’s Day rolled around with no sign of a child joining our family soon, it was definitely the hardest day of the wait. Little did we know that just 4 days later, we’d be sent our son’s situation. This would be our 14^th time presenting, so to be honest, there wasn’t anything magical or a special feeling about his situation. Like the other situations we had presented to, it was one we felt a connection to and that we heard a “yes” from when praying about it. So, we went ahead and presented. We knew it would be a while before we heard back, so it hadn’t been on our minds too much because we weren’t expecting to hear back for at least two weeks. Almost two weeks later on May 26^th, we were completely shocked when we got the email that would change our lives forever! We were finally that perfect family for an expectant mom and her child. We traveled down to Florida a week and a half after hearing “yes,” got to meet our son’s incredible first mom and two of his sisters, and our son was born on June 19^th. It was an absolute whirlwind going from no sign of a child on Mother’s Day to Jake being a father on Father’s Day! 

Our wait from being active to hearing “yes” was four and a half months and our wait from hearing “yes” to the waiver of parental rights being signed was only twenty six days, but it definitely felt the opposite. We wanted to let ourselves be excited at the plan for this child to be our child, but we knew we needed to guard our hearts because he was not our son yet. We clung to the peace that no matter what happened, God was in control and was writing our story. We spent as much time as we could loving on our son’s first mom, talking with her, building a relationship with her, and praying for her. When he was born, we were so blessed to both be allowed in the hospital and given our own room given the COVID-19 pandemic. He was wheeled over to us two hours after he was born and roomed with us for the hospital stay, but spent many hours one-on-one with his first mamma. We felt such a mix of overwhelming emotions once she signed away her parental rights and we could officially call her son, our son. The love we felt for him was unlike anything we’d ever experienced; we were elated to share our newest addition with our friends and family, and we were relieved that the wait was over. But on the other hand, our hearts were aching for our son’s first mom and we grieved the life he wouldn’t get to have with her or his sisters. However, we are so grateful for the hope that it wasn’t the end, but instead just the beginning of our relationship with his first family thanks to it being an open adoption.

When we look back at our journey, we are just in complete awe. We are so grateful to Susan and CAC for their help and resources along the way. We have learned SO much about ourselves and about God through this process. Our faith has never been stronger than while we were in the wait. It’s now been made even stronger being able to look back at all of the ways He was so faithful to us and how truly perfect His timing has been. 

I want to end with this word of encouragement for anyone in the wait. The song “Way Maker” by Leeland was the anthem of our journey. I would declare over and over the words from the bridge: “Even when I don’t see it, You’re working. Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working. You never stop, You never stop working.” I can’t help but cry every time I listen to it now thinking about the hundreds of ways God was at work, orchestrating the beautiful masterpiece of our story, while I was declaring those words. If you’re in the wait of adoption, I challenge you to make those words your prayerful declaration. Even when you’re not seeing how your adoption story is unfolding, He is writing it. Even when you’re feeling doubtful that you will get to bring a child into your family, He is crafting a plan greater than your wildest imagination. He is ALWAYS at work in your life. 

Hold on to the hope of that truth, rest in Him, and have faith that you will one day get to view the masterpiece of your story that God has been working on this entire time.  

Adoption Story: Mike and Mallory

Every time I work with a family I get a front row seat to a miracle. Watching first hand how God creates a family; but also seeing His perfect timing, brave birth families, and hopeful adoptive families stepping into unknown spaces.

I watch as couples grow their faith as well as their families. 

Mike and Mallory called me last Spring as they began their adoption journey. They were home study ready by Summer. And by the next Spring this little guy was home. Today Mallory shares what it was like to finally know it was time to take the step toward adoption and how God brought their family together.

Looking back on our adoption journey gives us so much joy in seeing how magnificent God is and how He was working through every step of the process.  

Our journey began with hesitation. We were scared of the unknowns and fearful that it wouldn't work out. But God strategically placed numerous individuals in our life who unknowingly encouraged us to take the leap of faith and pursue adoption.  

Once we started the process, we moved quickly to complete our home study only to wait to be matched. Each time we presented our profile we were hopeful that an exciting phone call would follow, only to hear 'not yet.' It was hard and it hurt. We began questioning God and why he called us to adopt. After numerous situations and what felt like an eternity, that all changed in early January when we received the call that our son's birth mom picked us. And in late April, our son was born! 

If we have learned one thing through this entire experience, it is that God has a plan for you and don't question it. Was our adoption process easy? No. But it is exactly what God had for us and we wouldn't change it for anything. 

"For I know the plans I have for you" this is the Lord's declaration.  "Plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Christian Adoption Consultants have been a blessing throughout this entire process. The prayerful emails and endless resources helped us feel completely supported along the way and we can not imagine pursuing adoption without their support and guidance. 

And if you are wondering whether or not to pursue adoption, as our friends thoughtfully told us, just do it.