When Adoption Doesn't End the Way You Hoped

This blog was guest-written by Jack, a CAC father who vulnerably shares his process of walking through an interrupted adoption and what God taught him through the process.

The Lord is Near to the Brokenhearted...

I originally wrote this as a journal entry to help with my grieving process after my wife and I had an “interrupted adoption.” If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s when an adoption doesn’t happen as planned, and a mom decides to parent her child instead. I wrote this for myself for my grieving and healing journey, but I feel led by God to share this with anyone else going through that same situation. There is a kind of joy that transcends circumstances and outcomes, and that’s the kind of power that I’m inviting you to tap into, and the frame of mind that I’m inviting you to live in.

The inspiration for this comes from a few places. First, from a recent period of suffering my wife, Kenna, and I went through, but also from two resources I found invaluable when we were grieving. Those resources are a quote from Brother Lawrence and Psalm 34:18. As noted in the book The Practice of the Presence of God, an old French friar named Brother Lawrence once said, “We ought to give ourselves up to God, with regard both to things temporal and spiritual, and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether He lead us by suffering or by consolation, for all would be equal to a soul truly resigned.” The main topic of whatever this devotion is… you guessed it. Suffering. I want to start by giving you the main points, then I’ll tell you about a day in 2025 when Kenna and I suffered, and then we’ll unpack the three main points.

Point one is that we must suffer well. Point two: God is a restorer. Point three is that we need to come out of the tomb.

Before we dive in, I’m going to share with you about a time in 2025 when Kenna and I both suffered. In November of 2025, I gave a sermon about adoption at our church as Kenna and I were preparing to adopt a baby girl. We had picked out her name, told all of our family and friends, prayed and prophesied over her life, we had the nursery decorated, and I practiced putting in and removing the car seat, folding the stroller, and everything else I’d have to be comfortable with doing with a crying baby. We drove down to the Dallas, Texas area on December 4^th, the night before the expecting mom’s induction date, to spend the night at her grandparents’ home. Then it’s December 5^th, induction day. We’re excited, eagerly anticipating the arrival of the little girl we’ve been expecting for months. Before we walk out the door that morning, I have Kenna, and I pray together. I specifically remember praying, “Lord, we so want this child, but let thy will be done.” And I remember hearing Him say, “Let’s find out if you really mean that.” We close in prayer, and the mom texts our adoption specialist that mom has been induced. And then she goes silent. We text our adoption specialist throughout the day asking for updates, and she continues to say she doesn’t have any. Next thing we know, it’s late at night. We scrambled to find a hotel room because we thought we would be in a hospital room with a baby by then. We check in to our hotel, call our adoption specialist, all of us agree that it’s been a long, weird day, and she tells us to try and sleep while we can. Neither of us can sleep. It seems we’re both awake at the top of the hour every hour. We’re restless. In the wee hours of the morning, we make coffee and pray again. “Lord, let thy will be done and bring us strength, comfort, and peace with whatever it is.” We call our adoption specialist, and she still had not heard from the expecting mom. We had to check out of our hotel room. Exhausted, we headed to the one place we knew we could find some comfort… a coffee shop. As we were just around the corner from our caffeine boost, we got the news we were dreading. The mom was postpartum. She had decided to parent. We were no longer adopting that baby girl. We’re confused. Our hearts are breaking, having been so excited and ready to welcome this baby girl into our home, but also respectful of the mom’s choice to keep her family together. We’re sad, happy, and confused. We pray. We cry. We pray some more. We cry some more. I remember being demanding of God in one of my prayers in that parking lot that day. “Lord, don’t you waste this pain. Don’t you allow this heartbreak to happen and not use it for your glory. Let us mourn, yes, but let this story bring you glory. And yet… Lord, if we went through all of that just for us to share and live the Gospel towards the mother, and for her to see how much You care for and love her, then all of it was worth it.” And ever since that moment in the White Rhino Coffee parking lot, I have heard every single day, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” That comes from Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” And as the Lord continued to give me that verse, I could see, almost like I had a vision, that I had two paths before me. One that spiritually led to life: pursuing Him deeper and using this story to glorify God, and the other leading to sin and sorrow. So, I dove into God’s Word to see what He says about suffering and to seek out examples of when He was near to the brokenhearted. He inspired me to not only share mine and Kenna’s story with you earlier but also to share these simple takeaways from Scripture.

I was reminded of James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you suffer trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” I think this is a call for us as Christians to suffer well. Because James, inspired by the Holy Spirit, did not say, “Consider it pure joy that you have suffered trials of many kinds in the past and God brought you out the other side.” No, he said, “Consider it pure joy whenever you suffer trials of many kinds…” He used the present tense. Don’t let the devil twist those words. I’m not saying that in the moment we have to fake happiness and joy when we are hurting, but what I am saying is that we can’t allow that pain and hurt to take Jesus’s place on the throne of our heart. That no matter how bleak the situation, we need to understand in the midst of whatever trial we are going through that Jesus Christ is still King of Kings. That Jesus Christ is still Lord of Lords. That every knee still bows at His name, and demons still flee at the name of Jesus. I can think of no better example of this than my high school friend Nick and his family. 

Nick died from leukemia at 18 years old. He used his cancer as an opportunity to share the Gospel with me. And while his body was killing itself and became nothing more than flesh and bones weighing under 100lb, Nick would tell me and others that Jesus still loved Him. I remember Nick’s father at his funeral telling the story of how Nick used his last moments on earth. How Nick used his dying breath to describe a vision of Jesus coming into his room on a chariot of fire, handing him his crown of glory. And when Nick reached out to grab his crown, his soul left earth and entered eternity. But I also remember his father talking about Nick’s faith, and how he could see when his son was diagnosed with terminal cancer that he, as a father, had two paths before him. One path leading to sin and death, and one path leading him closer to Jesus. His dad talked about how he clung to Jesus while his son fought cancer. He talked about how he used his suffering to grow closer to Jesus. And because those two Godly men chose to suffer well, there were people at Nick’s funeral who gave their lives to Christ. Make no mistake. The world is watching how we suffer. Whatever our suffering may be. Whether it be a diagnosis, an unexpected career change, a relationship ending, or whatever else. The world is watching. Louie Giglio put it best. “There is no greater witness than a Christian who suffers well.” So, brothers and sisters, when we go through trials of many kinds, cling to the cross of Christ and consider it pure joy.

And I think that yes, the Lord is wanting to say Psalm 34:18 to you. To say to you, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I also think He is wanting to say to you today that your hurt is real… That the situation is real, the loss is real, the pain is real, BUT He is a restorer. Joel 2:25 says, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” In the Hebrew, the locusts are named. They are the gnawing locusts, the locust swarm that came in like a tornado, the creeping locusts who are always there, and the consuming locusts who stripped the land. Have you had thoughts, pain, or trauma that gnaw at you, that comes in like a tornado, that won’t leave you, or that has stripped you of your joy? God is saying to you that He can repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. In the middle of Joel 2, God says, return to Me, then in verse 25 He says He will restore. Not give back the years the locusts had eaten as if they were never gone, and now they’re back. No, He is saying He will repay you what was lost. There was something lost, but that’s not the end of the story. Because when we choose Him, He will use our stories of hurt and pain for His glory. 

Joel 2:25-27, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed.” That is your future. Restoration of what was lost. Whether on Earth or in Heaven.  

I can’t help but think of the story of Lazarus in John 11:1-44. How Jesus said that his sickness would not end in death, and in doing so telling us that death was not the end for Lazarus, nor is it the end for us. I love how the hypostatic union- Jesus being fully God and fully man- is so clear in these moments, with the humanity of Jesus showing in His tears, and the power of God Almighty being on full display as Jesus called Lazarus to come out of the tomb from death to life. I also love how Jesus called Lazarus from death to life, like He calls us from spiritual death to spiritual life through salvation. This is a topic for another day, but make no mistake: when we are saved, we are not “bad people made good” by Christ. No, we are dead people made alive in Christ. And when Jesus called Lazarus from death to life, don’t miss how Jesus calls him. Jesus called Lazarus by name. He didn’t say, “Hey guy, come out!” He said, “LAZARUS, come out!” That is such an incredible image of the personal relationship that we have with the Creator of the heavens and the earth. Not only does He call Lazarus by name, but He also calls you by name. He sees you in your hurt. He sees you in your suffering. And He tells you to come out of whatever tomb of sin and death you are or were stuck in; He calls you to life, and He also tells you to take off the grave clothes. John 11:43-44: “The dead man came out, his hands and feet were wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’” When Lazarus came out of the tomb, he was covered in cloth that was wrapped around his body. It is estimated that it was 75-100lbs of cloth on his body. That’s a heavy burden. But I want to ask you… What grave clothes are you still wearing? What burden are you still carrying?

Maybe you have heard Jesus call you by name; you have come out of the tomb of sin and death, but you’re struggling in secret, or you’re still carrying parts of your old life that you don’t want to let go of. So what grave clothes are you still wearing? Pornography? Unforgiveness (maybe towards the mom who decided to parent)? Eating disorder, whether that’s eating too much food or discharging it from your body behind your family’s back? Addiction, whether that be cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol? What burden are you still carrying? Because make no mistake, the Lord didn’t call you out of the tomb with the idea that you’d still be wearing grave clothes. He’s also calling you to “take off the grave clothes.”

In summary, God is near to the brokenhearted; we must suffer well; God is a restorer; and we have to come out of the tomb and take off the grave clothes. I have two calls to action for you. They are to come out of the tomb and take off the grave clothes. Stop allowing whatever your circumstances are to rule over your life. Jesus called Lazarus out of the tomb of literal death, and I believe God is using this collection of journal entries to call someone or some of you out of the tomb of spiritual death. And He’s calling others to take off the grave clothes. Whether they be anxiety and depression, marital struggles, unforgiveness, addictions, pain from loss, or whatever else… come out of the tomb and take off the grave clothes. 

I first wrote this in January of 2026. Little did I know what was right around the corner. In March 2026, my wife and I both matched with an expecting mom and were placed with the baby. Our adoption journey was complete and has since been finalized. We decided to keep the name her birth mom gave her. Our daughter’s name is Amari, which in Hebrew literally means “promised by God.” For us, we found that name to be rather fitting given our adoption story. But to me personally? It was the fulfillment of Psalm 34:18. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The Lord is with you. He not only sees you in your suffering, but He is near to you. If you’re going through an interrupted adoption, I know your hurt all too well. You will be skeptical when your agency or adoption consultant says, “God has your baby.” Trust me, I was very skeptical. But your story is not over. The Lord is just making yours and your child’s stories all the more powerful. Cling to Him, seek Him in the midst of your pain, and marvel at how He will use your story for His glory.

Lord, I pray for my family, and anyone else who ends up reading or hearing this. That when trials come, when an adoption is interrupted, when anxiety hits, when a lying enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and even when death itself comes… that we will suffer well. That we would give ourselves up to God and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether He leads us by suffering or by consolation, for those two things are equal to a soul truly resigned. That we will fear no evil but instead cling to the cross of Christ. That we will not allow fear, sorrow, pain, or whatever else to take your place on the throne of our hearts. That we would remember that You will restore all things, whether You do so on Earth or in Heaven. You will restore. And Lord, may we shed the grave clothes and never look back. Amen.

Jack with his beautiful family

 

Adoption Story: Kendall + Maycee

Behind every adoption story is a journey that led there, and this one carries years of longing, resilience, and faith. I had the privilege of supporting this family as they stepped forward in trust, even after so much disappointment. Watching their story unfold has been incredibly special, and I’m so grateful to share it here.

We decided we wanted to start our family in 2019, after seven years of marriage. Kendall had completed graduate school, and Maycee was over halfway through medical school. An early miscarriage led to the discovery that Maycee has a balanced translocation, making it difficult to maintain a pregnancy. Maycee matched into a general surgery residency, and we started IVF right away. Ultimately, we did five rounds of IVF, but all failed. During that time, we also had two additional miscarriages. 

During the whole process, we were being led toward adoption, and we spent a lot of time learning and praying about whether it was right for us. We learned of Christian Adoption Consultants through a friend and decided to book the consultation. Immediately during our phone call with Susan, we felt like this could really be the right next step for us. We signed up with Christian Adoption Consultants in September and immediately began the homestudy process. Susan was so helpful in providing recommendations for home study agencies, placing agencies, and guidance and prayer throughout that time. She would always send a friendly text or email to check in and was always so patient and kind with her responses to my questions. She made us the most beautiful profile book that really captured who we are and helped make that process feel manageable. 

Our home study process was finally completed in February, and our agency applications were completed shortly thereafter. As we continued praying and preparing our hearts for whatever baby God had for our family, we looked at our calendar and decided to pray a very big and specific prayer. We felt like the right timing for our lives, work, and upcoming plans would be to have a baby who was born in April. After years and years of infertility, we did feel a little bit crazy to pray so specifically for a baby so soon, but we really leaned on Romans 12:12: "Be joyful in Hope, patient in trials, faithful in prayer," and Hebrews 10:23: "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful." 

You can imagine our surprise when we got a text message on April 1st about a mom in labor asking if we’d like to present our profile. With it being April Fools’ Day, we felt shocked that God would answer our very big and very specific prayer so quickly. We thought this was exactly what we’ve been praying for, so let’s be faithful to take our next step and present our profile, because maybe this would be our baby. A couple of hours later, we were informed that the birth mom chose us, and the next thing we knew, we were on a flight across the country to meet our baby. We learned that the baby was born while we were flying, and they asked if we wanted to know the gender. We said yes! And learned that we would shortly be meeting our daughter. 

Walking to the hospital room, we were very nervous to meet her and her birth mom, and we wondered what this process was going to feel and look like. When I met her birth mom, we hugged each other for a very long time and cried together while we both held this sweet baby girl. We spent a couple of hours with baby and her birth mom until her birth mom left the hospital. We spent that first night in the hospital with our daughter and the next day took her “home” to our hotel. 

It’s amazing how immediately we loved this baby girl so much. And how we went from 0 to 100 in terms of every aspect of our lives, and every decision we made revolved around this tiny miracle baby. Our hearts were healed in an instant.

Looking back on the last several years, I don’t have a clear reason why our path has looked like this, but I know with certainty that God‘s hand was in it the whole time, and he was preparing us for this season and this baby. God is a God of provision. He is faithful and can be trusted with the deepest longings of your heart. We thank God every day for our daughter and the way He has built and is building our family.

Adoption Story: Chas + Erica

It is such a privilege to walk alongside families through every season of their adoption journey—the waiting, the uncertainty, the setbacks, and ultimately, the incredible moments when everything comes together. This family’s story is one that beautifully reflects God’s timing and faithfulness, and I’m so honored to share a glimpse of their journey with you.

Reflecting back on our adoption journey, now that we are on the other side, has brought so many emotions to mind - hope, doubt, anticipation, fear, uncertainty, joy, and peace are just a few! 

We began our journey almost as soon as we were married. We worked with a wonderful agency in our home state to complete all the home study requirements and patiently waited (well, as patiently as we could anyway!). After several years with little movement, we were encouraged to branch out, which is where we discovered Susan with Christian Adoption Consultants. 

It seems like a whirlwind since that time, just seven short months ago, and we really began to feel God's calling that we were moving in the right direction. We had some setbacks and some disappointments along the way, and more waiting, but once we matched with "J" things just felt right, more right than they had in a long time. We were only able to talk on the phone one time with "J" before our little peanut was born - that call brought so much peace and hope to us as we began to prepare to bring our baby home. 

Meeting "J" and baby Penelope for the first time still seems like a dream! The smile on "J's" face when we walked into the delivery room was like none I've ever seen before. Her excitement for us was so evident as we locked eyes and then focused together on naming our sweet Penelope. We soaked up every moment with could with "J" while we were in the hospital, not knowing what our relationship would look like in the future - learning as much as we could about the other and most importantly loving our sweet girl. Saying "until next time" as we parted ways was very emotional. We had talked a lot about God's grace and love at the hospital, and we felt it so much, especially that day! 

We have been so incredibly blessed on this journey - even though it was long and difficult at times, as it brought us to the perfect place with our sweet girl - we can't imagine our life without her!

Adoption Story: Jack + Kenna

Some adoption journeys carry both deep heartbreak and incredible redemption, and this story is a beautiful reflection of both. It was an honor to walk alongside this family through loss, uncertainty, and ultimately, the joy of seeing God’s promises fulfilled. I’m so grateful to share their story with you.

We decided to start our family through adoption because we knew God was calling us to adopt. We decided to partner with Christian Adoption Consultants in this process for a variety of reasons, including our shared Christian values. Working with and being supported by fellow believers was something incredibly important to us. Through CAC, we were connected to several agencies. In September of 2025, we matched with an expecting mom. We traveled in November to meet her and her other kids, started to fall in love with the daughter she was allowing us to adopt, and then everything changed. On her induction date, she decided to parent. This is called an "interrupted adoption." We grieved our loss, but were also thankful that a family was able to stay together. CAC walked through our grief with us every step of the way. Susan was a listening ear when we needed someone to talk to, and would give us advice based on Scripture when we needed it. She and the CAC team played no small part in our decision to continue with the adoption process after our loss. 

Fast forward to March of 2026... we are presented with a drop-in case. Another baby girl. We texted back and forth, prayerfully considering what to do. We came to the conclusion that we would need a miracle if we are chosen, but we've needed miracle after miracle the whole time. We matched with the drop-in situation on a Tuesday. And by Friday morning, we arrived at the NICU to meet our daughter. We were with her every step of the way until she was discharged. 

Her birth family named her Amari, and we decided to keep the name. Why? Amari in Hebrew means "promised by God." Given our story, given how many people told us "God has the baby meant for you," it seemed like the perfect fit.

Adoption Story: Kyle + Katie

Every adoption story is unique, and it’s a privilege to be part of each one. Kyle and Katie’s journey was filled with trust, hope, and so much love. I’m thankful to share a part of their story here.

Kyle and I have always had a heart for children. We knew we wanted to grow our family, no matter how or what that looked like. God provided a way for us to become parents through adoption! 

We didn't know where to start, but a friend had recently adopted with the help of Christian Adoption Consultants and had nothing but good things to say about them. We explored many options, and we are so glad we chose CAC  to help us become parents. Meeting our son for the first time was incredible. Our case worker helped the transition go so smoothly; she got us lots of pictures before we could make it out to meet him (he came fast and furious!). 

The process of adoption can be so emotional, tiring, and expensive, but the team at Christian Adoption Consultants stood by us the entire time, prayed with us, and helped us through the entire journey.

Adoption Story: Ian + Alyssa

Ian and Alyssa had a whirlwind adoption. But it didn't come without months and months of planning, completing their home study, and working diligently to fundraise. Then came the waiting as they presented their profile. Six months of presenting and saying yes to situations, praying every night as a family for a baby brother or sister to join the family. Then a call about a baby born that changed everything...

Our situation was a "stork drop," which is a little more unique, and also required us to be flexible and trust God's plan. If anything, it gave God even more of an opportunity to show just how in control He is. We got a call at 9:30pm stating that there was a baby ready for us in Florida, and in less than 24 hours, we were in a hotel lobby with the adoption agency, meeting our baby boy for the first time. From airplane tickets to Airbnb's, God brought it all together. It was a special opportunity for us as a family to all travel together and meet our new family member for the first time.

It was all such a shock and a whirlwind that I think we are all still processing and reflecting. It's been beautiful to see how God has been in all of the details of our family's story - of our baby's story. I am so glad we trusted God and took this leap of faith despite the many challenges we faced along the way. The rainbow has been a wonderful reminder for us on this journey. God always fulfills his promises.

Our biggest encouragement to other hopeful adoptive parents on this journey is to BE FLEXIBLE!! As humans, it is in our nature to want to be in control and have a well-thought-out plan for every little thing. Our adoption journey has certainly stretched us in this area. We really had to "let go and let God," and it was amazing to see Him in all the details once we were willing to do that.

Once you take that first step, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and want to give up. Something we had to constantly remind ourselves was that if God has truly called us to adoption, He will make a way. There are so many little pieces that have to come together for adoption to happen. There is no way that all of the pieces come together without a loving and sovereign God who is in charge of it all.

We are thankful for the support from Susan and Christian Adoption Consultants on this journey! There are so many odds and ends that can seem overwhelming. It helped tremendously to have someone to hold our hand throughout this journey.

How Adoption Consultants Work (And How They’re Different from Agencies)

Starting the adoption process can feel overwhelming, leaving many families wondering where to even begin. Between navigating costs, home studies, and the legal requirements of different states, the journey is often complex. This is where adoption consultants and agencies come in, though they serve distinctly different roles in the process.

What is an Adoption Consultant?

Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC) exists to assist, educate, and advise couples throughout their entire adoption journey. They act as a personal guide and advocate, helping to streamline and simplify a process that can otherwise feel insurmountable. 

The main responsibilities of a consultant include:

• Education and Planning: Providing resources on adoption basics, positive adoption language, and various adoption pathways like domestic, international, or embryo adoption.
• Personalized Agency Lists: Creating a customized list of recommended, vetted agencies and attorneys based on a family’s specific budget, preferences, and situation.
• Profile Design: Assisting with the creation of a high-quality family profile book or online profile, which is the primary tool used to introduce adoptive families to expectant parents.
• Financial Guidance: Helping families create a financial plan by identifying grants, loans, and creative fundraising options to make adoption more affordable.
• Risk Assessment: Reviewing specific adoption situations to help families identify potential legal, medical, or financial risks before they commit.

How is a Consultant Different from an Agency?

The most important distinction is that Christian Adoption Consultants is not a licensed adoption agency. While agencies are licensed child-placing entities that handle the legal transfer of parental rights and the actual placement of a child, consultants focus on the support and navigation side for the adoptive family.

Key differences include:

• The Multi-Agency Approach: Most agencies only show you situations within their own program, but a consultant uses a "multi-agency approach." This allows families to apply to multiple ethical agencies at once, widening their net and typically resulting in a shorter wait time—averaging 7 to 12 months for CAC families.
• Undivided Support: Agencies must balance their time and resources between serving expectant/birth parents and adoptive parents. A consultant is hired specifically to support the adoptive family, providing one-on-one attention and guidance through every high and low.
• No Conflicts of Interest: Ethical consultants, like those at CAC,  never accept referral fees or "kickbacks" from agencies or attorneys. They recommend professionals based on their track record of ethics and service, not because of a financial incentive.
• Broad Expertise: While an agency is an expert in its own state’s laws and its specific programs, consultants often have a team of professionals—including licensed social workers and adoptees—with experience across multi-state adoptions and various pathways.

Why Expertise and Ethics Matter

Choosing between a consultant and an agency isn't an "either/or" decision; rather, it's a "both/and" as a consultant helps you choose the right agencies. Christian Adoption Consultants has spent years vetting agencies to ensure they meet strict standards for ethical practices and birth parent care. This includes ensuring that expectant parents receive proper counseling and that all fees are transparent and reasonable.

Ultimately, the goal of a consultant is to equip and empower you to make knowledgeable decisions for your family. By providing a gold standard of support and a transparency promise, they ensure you are never "going it alone" on your path to building a family.

Adoption can be a complex journey, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Christian Adoption Consultants, we would consider it an honor to play a small role in the plans God has for your family. Whether you're just beginning to explore your options or are ready to dive in, we are here to provide the hope and expert guidance you need.

Ready to take the first step? Email me at susan@christainadoptionconsultants.com and I'll send you a free adoption information packet!