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Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Adoption Story: Mark and Jessica

It has been such an incredible joy walking with Jessica and Mark on their adoption journey. I have had front row seats as they prepared their hearts and home for adoption, faithfully loved expecting mamas, and waited expectantly for how God would grow their family. Today Jessica shares the details of how their story unfolded and sweet Isabella became their daughter...

Everyone says there will be a reason for all of the setbacks in the journey to a child. That God will give you the baby that is perfect for you, in His perfect timing. This was really hard to hear during the dark days of our journey, but we are so fortunate to experience firsthand how true it is.

After our son was born in 2018, we knew we immediately wanted to continue growing our family. After a few years of failed IVF and multiple miscarriages, we started considering adoption. Jessica had a friend from high school use Susan at Christian Adoption Consultants, and reached out to her friend to learn more. We then jumped on a call with Susan to meet her, understand the process, and ultimately decided to move forward with her as our consultant. After a few months, we were home study ready, our profile book was created, and we started applying to the recommended agencies from Susan. 


We had a new found hope for our family. We took our son out to dinner to celebrate the start of this journey and started the hardest part of the process: waiting. Waiting for our baby, waiting to be chosen by a birth mom, waiting for God to put everything in place at the exact right time. We continued to live our lives, go to work, take family vacations, and have a great time together, all the while presenting to expecting moms who did not choose us. We were shocked when, five months, later an agency reached out to us that a mom had been looking at our profile and asked if we would be interested in matching with her. We of course said yes, this was it! We matched very early, so we knew it was a long road. We visited her and her children, sent them gifts, texted with her, and prayed for her and this baby. Unfortunately, one day we found out the adoption was falling through. We were heartbroken and distraught. We leaned on Susan a lot during this time. She provided us the perspective we so needed, the emotional support to hear our fears, and the encouragement to continue. As the what would have been due date approached, we closed the nursery door and grieved. We questioned if this would work, and, more specifically, when. We often thought about giving up. Susan was there with us the entire time.

One day, almost a year from when we were first home study ready, we got THE call. A baby girl would be born within a few weeks, in a state nearby, and the expecting mom wanted to name her Isabella Marie. Marie was Jessica's, her mother's, and her grandmother's middle name. It would have been the middle name for a girl if we had been able to choose. Jessica immediately got chills and said we would absolutely present. About two hours later, the agency called us and said that we were the family chosen! The three of us were on the phone emotional about the exciting news. 

Three weeks later we found out our baby girl was born a few weeks early! We dropped everything and raced to the hospital, Jessica flying in from an out of town work trip and Mark driving over with all of the baby items and our bags! We made it to the hospital just before visiting hours were over. We were in such "go mode" the few weeks leading up to this that we hadn't had a chance to really let everything sink in. As we are led to the room with Isabella's birth mom ("Z"), the nurse told us how amazing the baby and birth mom were. We were so nervous. What do you say to the woman giving you the greatest gift, her greatest sacrifice? We hugged her, held the baby, and started talking. There were some silences, but comfortable, and nobody kicked us out when visiting hours were over. Z actually said, "If you would like to stay here with the baby, the hospital has a room and you can keep Isabella with you." We jumped at the chance to spend as much time as possible with Isabella and Z. The next day, we went and spent time with Z getting to know her. 


That evening, as we were going to bed, a nurse came into our room and said Z would like to see us and the baby. We immediately paused. We walk down the hall, bring the baby and sit with her. We had an emotional few hours not knowing if Z was changing her mind. She was holding Isabella and crying. After what felt like eternity she handed us the baby and said, "She's yours now."  What we experienced that night was nothing short of a miracle. Three parents all loving this little girl so much. We held Isabella, we held each other. It was a moment that we will never forget, and to be honest, a moment we don't think we would have had with the last situation. We are so fortunate to have met Z and that she is the birth mom of sweet Isabella. 

The following day when we were discharged, we each received a text from Z, "I love y'all. Please let Isabella know that I love her. You are the best woman and mother I know (man and father for Mark's text), and I wish you all happiness. I love Isabella with my life, and I know I made the best decision."


Throughout the infertility, the interrupted adoption, the waiting, the "not yets," we questioned God often. Why us? When will it be our turn? Why do we continue to go through the heartache? Should we just stop trying? While we could not see it at the time, we are so grateful that God was working behind the scenes to orchestrate a plan greater than one we could have ever imagined.

We are so fortunate to bring home our perfect baby, in God's perfect timing. We are blessed beyond measure for the guidance and support from Susan during the process. Now we are home with our 4-year who only wants to love on and hug his sister all day every day. 


We will forever be grateful for everyone who supported our journey, family, friends, Susan, our adoption agency, and of course, always grateful for Z. 

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