Adoption Story: Sheldon and Katie

Sheldon and Katie were an incredible joy to work with. I've especially loved watching the beautiful way they have loved their birth mother and developed a relationship with her. Today Katie shares how sweet Grace came to their family and the openness and love they have for her birth mother.

It took three years of an infertility journey to prepare both of our hearts for adoption. Katie always had adoption on her heart from a young age. It took four failed IUIs and a failed IVF to finally get Sheldon on board the adoption train, knowing that adoption was our only ticket to parenthood. When we finally were homestudy ready in May, we tried matching with an expectant mom through an online website, which would have saved us thousands of dollars. However, after several situations that didn’t work out (and what we believe to have been scammers), we knew we needed to use any agency to help match us, and then help us navigate our adoption. A friend who used Christian Adoption Consultants before, recommended us to them, which is how we met Susan.  In late August, we were active with CAC. We received five no’s between September and January, before we were matched with our expectant mom in the beginning on February.  

For some, the concept of an open adoption can be very intimidating, confusing, anxiety producing and may cause worry about what the future looks like for your child. The threat of you not being enough for them always—because their birth family will be in their life, may be present. However for us, when we began our adoption journey last May, we knew we wanted to have an open relationship with our future adopted child’s birth mother and family. It was important to us for them to know that we valued them, desired a relationship and love them unconditionally for their selfless gift; we felt we could do that continuously throughout our child’s life by maintaining a relationship with them. We were matched with you young woman who desired an open relationship with us as well.  

Upon our match, we had the unique opportunity to meet with our birth mom about two weeks prior to our baby, Grace Riayn, arriving. We flew from Pennsylvania to Florida to avoid the awkwardness that could have been present by meeting on delivery day. While we visited with our expectant mom, we decided to have a photographer capture the three of us together before Gracie’s arrival. We feel blessed to have had this opportunity and that our daughter’s expectant mom wanted was excited about the photographs too. 

Our unconditional love for Gracie’s biological family has had a profound impact on her birth mom. We knew all along that she was making different choices than we would. We did not shame her birth mom for her choices that could have impacted the immediate comfort and future of our daughter.  Early on, we made the choice to love her unconditionally. We knew that by judging her, by shaming her, would not be productive for our desired life-long relationship nor would it help in Gracie’s birth mom’s recovery and coping with the circumstances surrounding the adoption.  

Our message to other adoptive parents is this: live with hope and don’t be scared of the unknown.  There were a lot of things that could have turned us off from this adoption if we lived our life out of fear but we trusted God’s plan for Gracie and for us. We are so glad we did—she is perfect for our family and has made the pain of infertility completely disappear.  

Adoption Story: Paul and Katie (take 2)

You met Paul and Katie back in 2014 when they adopted their daughter. And I was more than thrilled when they connected with me just a few weeks ago about starting the process again (admittedly the only thing I love more than walking a family through their adoption is getting to do it again!) It's rare that we get to hear an adoptive story from the adoptive father. I love that today Paul retells how their son came to their family.

When we adopted our daughter 18 months ago, we thought that some day we would adopt again. Well, that someday arrived in January and we started talking about it, contemplating and dreaming. Sometime in January we determined we were ready to start the process - so we did what we know works: hire Susan, start the home study process and get new family pictures in order to be able to create a new profile. We sat talking about what the timing might look like; heck, if it were to be anything like the first time, we thought maybe we could have a baby by the Fall.

Then it happened...the home study was done on a Friday and a baby boy was born in Florida the following day. Yikes! Are we supposed to explore this opportunity? I mean, it's one day into the process and there's a baby that could be ours?

So we talked about it, prayed about it and decided to walk through the door that it appeared God had opened to us. On Thursday, the birth mother saw our profile and asked to talk to us the following day. By Monday, the birth mother had chosen us and we started packing our bags.

We knew that a NICU stay was part of the deal and we did our best to prepare ourselves for it, not having a clue what it would be like. When we arrived at the hospital, we saw the most beautiful thing in what was admittedly a tough situation...there was our baby, being cared for and loved by a staff of nurses who treated him as if he were their own. Despite the fact that he had been "alone" in a NICU environment for nearly 10 days, we saw how God had been at work. He surrounded this little boy with wonderful, loving people to be his family.

After a week of visiting him every day, we finally got to take him to the hotel. Then another odd thing happened that we were not remotely prepared for: within an hour of leaving the hospital, we got a call from ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) and were told we were clear to go home. Seriously?  The whole ICPC process only began 3 days ago...how could this be?

So anyway, that's our story...what we were prepared to wait for was beautifully dropped in our lap.  We see God's handwriting all over it and it's amazing.

Adoption Story: Scott and Amy

Today I am so honored to share Scott and Amy's story on the blog. Amy so beautifully shares her journey to motherhood. It includes an abusive marriage, remarriage, the gift of step children, and the long road she and Scott took together to become parents. After a crushing diagnosis and failed IVF and surrogacy, eventually they were led to adoption with Christian Adoption Consultants.

My story began when I was 3 years old. That’s when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. And my answer? A mommy. And that has been my dream ever since. And, most importantly, my prayer. It has never changed, never faltered. All I’ve ever wanted to be was a mommy. And now, after 37 years of hoping, wishing, and praying, I finally am. It wasn’t easy to get to where I am.  It was something I took for granted for many, many years. I thought I’d grow up, get married, and have babies. Simple as that. Until I found out that it wasn’t going to happen that way at all. That wasn’t God’s plan for me. I did grow up and got married, but the babies didn’t come. At that time we didn’t know why, but as my first marriage slowly fell apart, I knew that God had been watching out for me. It was an abusive relationship, one I simply could not stay in. I had to start over.

Soon after my divorce, my doctor diagnosed me with endometriosis. Each year, he encouraged me to get pregnant as soon as possible, because the endometriosis was getting worse. He suggested IVF since I wasn’t married, but that simply was not an option. It wasn’t part of my plan of getting married first and then having babies. Although I respect single mothers greatly, it wasn’t something I was going to embark on, on purpose. I knew that wasn’t His plan for me. I wanted a father for my children.  What I didn’t realize was that he wouldn’t come along for another 12 years.

Our story. By the time Scott and I met, my endometriosis was at stage 4. It was the worst news I ever received. Scott was my rock. He already had 2 kids, and together, we decided that that was the family we were going to have. I grew to love his kids deeply, and convinced myself that they were enough. My doctor gave us the news that I would have to have a hysterectomy to end my constant pain, and sadly, we agreed.

We were happy, and we were blessed. Our new family was doing well, but I was getting restless. I started losing sleep, developed extreme anxiety, and depression set in. That dream I’d had of being a mommy was stirring in my soul, and I pleaded with God to make it go away.  That longing was so strong. I felt guilty because I felt that my stepkids should have been enough for me. But they primarily lived with their mother, with us having them only on the weekends. Those 2 days were great, but the rest of the week I was alone, and lonely, and I started dreaming again of having a child of my own. I once again pleaded with God, to show me a way to make my dreams come true.

That was when my sister volunteered to be a surrogate for us. With my sister willing to carry the baby for me, my dreams starting coming alive again. Scott and I prayed about it, and after feeling this was God’s answer to our prayers, we embarked on a journey of IVF and surrogacy. I had my egg retrieval, 6 eggs were retrieved, and 5 eggs were fertilized. By day 2, one embryo had been misplaced by the lab, but the other 4 were thriving. Day 3—the lab called and said that 2 embryos stopped growing. Day 4—they called again and said we lost another one. Day 5—the last embryo died as well. We were devastated. We didn’t know if we had the strength to try again, but my sister encouraged us to try one last time. But, it wasn’t to be. My sister fell ill, and wasn’t going to be able to carry our baby after all. This was it. It was over. A biological child wasn’t going to happen for us.

We prayed for God to ease our pain, our suffering. We prayed and prayed and then felt one last urging from the Lord to not give up. Deep in my soul, I felt God calling us to adopt, but I knew our finances were drained from the IVF, so I kept it to myself. God however, had other plans. One day Scott completely surprised me by saying that he thought we should adopt! I agreed whole-heartedly, but was worried about our financial situation. Would we be able to afford it? We decided that if this was God’s plan for us, then He would provide. And He did. It was a few months prior that Scott retired from the US Air Force, and as a veteran, he was to receive extra income each month for injuries sustained during his years in the service. This was enough.  God had provided.

Our adoption journey has been a bumpy road. We began our home study process and got that rolling. Then we signed up with a consultant group that we had been referred to by a friend. Everything was going ok with them, until we felt God telling us not to present to a certain expectant mom. There were many red flags with this one, but our consultant thought we should present anyway. Following God’s lead, we declined to present, and our consultant soon afterward told us that her group could not work with us anymore if we were not going to present to every situation they gave us.  So, we were back to square one. We needed to find a new consultant.  And BAM!  God dropped CAC into our laps and Susan was available to be our consultant. This was very reassuring to us. We knew we had found the right organization and person to help us through this adoption journey at last.

We applied to a few agencies and started seeing situations from Susan right away, but none of them seemed right for us. And then it happened. Scott lost his job. We had to put on adoption on hold in order to conserve funds in case he didn’t find a new one right away. And he didn’t. It was 4 months of agony waiting for a new position and waiting to pick up our adoption journey. Then finally, he was given a great position and we could start the adoption process again.  

Shortly thereafter, we received a situation that was perfect for us. We were over the moon excited and nervous wrecks. We presented and had to wait a week before hearing back from the agency. The expectant mom had chosen a different family. We were devastated. My heart was broken, as I was sure that this was our baby. But God had other plans and soon after we applied to some new agencies. Then we got a situation from Susan. A good one. Could this be it? We presented to this situation too, but were not selected for this one either.

Then it happened. One of the new agencies we had just applied with, called. They had a perfect situation for us. They hadn’t even gotten all the way through our application yet, but the baby was going to be half Filipino, and Scott is half Filipino, so they wanted us to look over the situation and let them know right away if we wanted to present. We reviewed it, and it was perfect. We presented 2 days later, and this time, expectant mom chose us!

God is so good, friends. To God be the glory! But the excitement was short-lived. After only a week, our expectant mom changed her mind. We were devastated. It was hard. But we put our trust in God, and started presenting again after a short while.We presented 3 more times and got 3 more no’s. Then, we got another yes! I’d love to say we were over the moon, but fear of another failed adoption was very real. Still, we held out hope that this was the one, the baby God intended for us.  And, she was.

Isabella Grace was born on March 5, 2016 at 4:14 pm, weighing 7lbs 7oz and 20 in long. And she is perfect! This is such a miracle friends, and has God written all over it. There is no better way to describe it. She is a gift from God, hand selected by Him just for us. We couldn’t have written this story…no, God wrote every word of it. Have faith, and you shall receive.  

Adoption Story: Phillip and Colleen

If you've followed this blog, you know there are dozens and dozens of adoption stories. Stories I've recounted  (a quick count is over 150 so far). But my favorites are the one's when an adoptive mama shares in her own words their path to adoption. Today Colleen shares the faith it took for them to start, the patience it took for them to continue, and the joy it brought when God answered their prayers.

I have been trying to sit down and our story about this past month for several days now. Each time I thought about writing, I just did not know where to begin. I guess I was still processing and adjusting to all that has been going on. Here is a little bit of what has been on my mind as of late...

In September of 2014, Phillip and I made a phone call that would change our lives as we knew it. After heavy discussion and prayer, we decided to take a leap of faith and pursue adoption; 16 months later, this is God's answer to those prayers.

First and foremost, I want to publicly and unashamedly give ALL the glory and praise to the one true God for this little life! He orchestrated every detail of this adoption journey and looking back, I can see that more clearly than I ever could before!

Now, I know there are some of you out there that would say to me..."Colleen, that's great and all, but I just don't believe in God." I would say to you, let me tell you the story of Adeline and how she came to be in our family. Let me share the details with you (it's too much to do here). Let me share with you how the timing was unbelievably perfect and how her sweet birth mother had the strength and courage to do what she did. Let me tell you what was said, and events that took place. There is no other explanation but GOD!

I have been an emotional wreck for a couple of weeks now; I have experienced the goodness and faithfulness of God these past months and not just in receiving this baby, but in the lessons learned along the way. Having to trust, having to be patient, having to be without fear and worry are hard things to overcome. Did I do that perfectly? No, but by God's grace He gave me the ability to do each of those when I needed to, which in turn, only enhanced my worship of Him! His presence was felt and known by both Phillip and myself. We even saw glimpses of His work through interaction with Adeline's birth parents. I often found myself saying "this just doesn't happen naturally." 

I also fell more in love with my husband over the past month! He is absolutely the man I need to walk this life with! It's difficult to describe how much of a blessing He was to me during the trying time we had at the end of this journey. All the emotion, traveling, lack of sleep, and new responsibilities wore me down and I ended up getting sick the day we brought her home with us. Phillip stepped up and took on 90% of daily life that first week so I could rest. He stayed up for late feedings, ran errands, made sure we were fed and had everything we needed. He was and is my rock. I am eternally grateful for this man! We spent 9 days in Nevada by ourselves before bringing Adeline home to Georgia. We only had each other. That was one of the toughest weeks of our life, but also one of great joy at the same time. God used that time to bring us closer together as a couple and as a family!

As I wrap our story with my sweet little daughter wrapped to my chest, I want to share one final thought with you all. Many people told me that adoption is beautiful in that it represents the gospel. It is a tangible picture of how God adopts undeserving, sinful and selfish people into His family. Adoption is that and I know first hand the love I immediately felt for this child when she was placed into my arms. I get a glimpse of the love my Jesus has for me as His child and a member of His family. What I did not expect is the love that I have for her birth parents, especially Adeline's birth mother. Despite what choices she makes, or how she lives her life, I have been given an undeniable love and heart for her! I have been given another glimpse of how God could love an undeserving and selfish sinner such as I, despite how many times I fall and fail! What an awesome God we have!

If you are interested to hear the details of Adeline's story, I'd love to grab coffee and fill you in on the tiny details that point back to the amazing God I serve! If you are interested in adoption, come talk to us. We can help point you in the direction to get started. And do not let finances be your excuse... Let me be cliche for a sec - If there is a will, there is a way! What a testimony to God's goodness our adoption it has been.

Was adoption easy? Heck no! But was it worth it? absolutely!

To connect with Colleen or to see follow more of their story, you can read their blog over at Expecting the Unexpected.

Adoption Story: Tyler and Kate

So often when you're in the middle of your story, it doesn't make sense. It's only when you're at the end that the twists and turns begin to come together and you can see God's goodness and faithfulness throughout the whole journey. 

That's what happened to Tyler and Kate. They started with Christian Adoption Consultants last July and were matched less than two months later. But things unraveled in October and their match failed. Tyler and Kate were heartbroken and struggled understanding God's plan for their adoption.

But just a few months later, they know exactly why that baby wasn't meant to be theirs. There was a little boy born on a Monday and the birth mother wanted to make an adoption plan. They learned about him the next morning and were chosen to be his parents that night. By Wednesday they met their son.

Our failure in October was so hard for us and at the time it didn't make sense....but now holding Luke just three and a half months later, God's plan panned out perfectly and we know why that little baby didn't come home with us last fall.

All along, this was the son God had for them. 

Adoption Story: Jason and Crystal

Our plans for the future are simple: we want to make many happy memories as a family and enjoy the blessings we’re given every day.

These were Jason and Crystal's words written to the expectant mothers who would read their story in their profile book when choosing a family to raise their little one. They wrote them back in September after they started with Christian Adoption Consultants.

In November, just before Thanksgiving, a young mother read those words and chose Jason and Crystal to raise her son. And that choice began a relationship between an expectant mama and the couple she chose. They would go to doctor's appointments and ultrasounds together.

And in February, they welcomed their son into the world.

This sweet boy joined their family and I'm sure he will be a huge part to their dreams for happy memories and daily blessings...

Photo credit Tara Hailey Photography

Adoption Story: David and Lisa

From the very beginning of our marriage, we were believing in God to form and complete our family...

David and Lisa started with Christian Adoption Consultants last June. By the end of August their home study was complete and in January they were matched with an expectant mom. The next few weeks were full of expectation, unknowns, and even heartbreak when they realized their adoption might not happen. But their belief that God had good plans for their family proved true.

As the years passed with various health issues it seemed harder to trust that there even was a plan for our family to expand, maybe we had misunderstood the desire God had placed in our hearts. Now obvious to us, our hearts and eyes were opened to the idea of adoption, the most obvious to us was that God had provided support to help us pursue this avenue for our family. Moving forward we completed our home study and were ready to put our hearts in a vulnerable place again as we knew if we were able to expand our family, it would be worth it all.  

After applying to multiple agencies, we felt led to apply to another one that we hadn’t considered initially. We appreciated the phone consultation they required, it felt like they were interested in who we are instead of just what our profile book said. Months later after being presented and not chosen several times, we were contacted by this agency informing us on an opportunity. The expectant mom had not received any prenatal care, so we were unaware of the condition of health and gender when requesting to be presented. Like any pregnancy or adoption we were believing that God had his hand upon this little baby and if there was a concern that he would provide the resources for us to provide the best care possible. We received word that the expectant mom had accepted us to be the baby’s parents. We were so excited, but to be honest we were still cautious with our hearts, there was so much unknown, even the due date was a speculated date. About two weeks later, the agency let us know they had tried every means possible to reach the birth mother and were unsuccessful. Our hearts dropped as we didn’t know how things were going to turn out.  

Just after the weekend we were losing hope on Monday morning as I was headed out the door to work, my husband received a phone call. He proceeded to frantically wave for me to come back in the house. When he hung up the phone, he told me it was the agency calling to say, “it’s a boy,” the baby was born last night and the birth mother is going through with her adoption plan. We frantically made all of our arrangements to get to the hospital to see him as soon as we could. All of the months of planning for any adoption situation and travel check lists at this point couldn’t prepare me enough for this surreal moment. We arrived to meet our son at the hospital and we were instantly in love.  All the different names we had come up with, when we looked at him, he was definitely our Franklin Michael. All of the background checks, references, etc. all made sense for this moment alone, because with no hesitation they handed him to us and the rest is history.  

We are so honored that God would allow us to love and care for Franklin. He has brought so much joy to our lives already, it’s hard to even describe. His arrival also restored hope to some of our friends on the same journey trying to grow their families. When we arrived home there was almost an entire room filled with boxes of gifts for baby Franklin. We were overwhelmed by the love and support of our family and friends. Franklin is the first grandchild on one side of the family and the first grandson on the other. We love the different expressions Franklin randomly gives on his face, we are looking forward to seeing his little personality form. We are going to have so much fun living life with this little one God has blessed us with.  

God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working with us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. (Ephesians 3:20-21, The Message)

Special thanks to Meg White Photography for some of the beautiful pictures.