Wednesday, January 31, 2018

If I Could Say One Thing...About the Adoption Home Study

The home study process that every hopeful adoptive family goes through can feel intimidating and often causes anxiety for families. I've written about preparing your home for the home study and a home study survival guide. Today you get the chance to hear from adoptive families who have been through the home study process what they would say.

If I could say one thing about the adoption home study...




The Home Study feels so overwhelming and intimidating but it’s way less stressful and way more enjoyable than you might originally think.  - Leigh

Try not to over-stress. It won’t be nearly as bad and you imagine. The house doesn’t have to be spotless either. First visit we cleaned top to bottom, by the end our social worker was more like a friend and we just made sure she wouldn’t trip over any toys.  - Kristi

It’s not a judgement process, it’s an education process.  - Leah

It is NOT a white glove test like you think. Let your house show you live there and don't stress about making it look perfect.  - Christy

Be yourself! It’s intimidating, but being honest and giving yourself grace makes the process (a little) less stressful.  - Kaylin

God led the right person into our lives and It was a reminder of how HE was watching the entire process. She was there to help us adopt... not prevent it from happening. She has become a friend and huge help to us. She is rooting for our family to adopt and I'm so thankful for her friendship!  - Amy

It’s so not about the house and it’s about you as a couple and family. Also what an amazing opportunity to share your faith and show the gospel to others. Our agency was not a Christian agency and we had the best talks about our faith. God will make his name known even in the stresses of homestudy. What a blessing to witness.  - Jenny

Relax and realize that they are just there to make sure you can provide and get to know you as a family. It’s a step in the process that you may feel the need to control and overanalyze... but just relax, breathe, and be yourself.  - Mackensie

Clean like you would for dinner guests. Your house does not need to be spotless! - Michelle

It's not as scary as it sounds! - Nathan

It’s not as bad as you think it will be! We cleaned our house top to bottom, and even painted all our trim. She didn’t even go into all the rooms, we spent most of the time visiting around the table eating cookies I had made and drinking milk and coffee. I was so stressed out about it, but it was easy peasy!  - Andrea

It was a pleasant surprise (and don't overclean!)  - LeAnne

Even though it feels like your entire life is being scrutinized, the adoption agency that's conducting your home study is rooting for you and they want to see you reach your dream of becoming an adoptive family. Their goal is not to pick apart everything about your life and family, but to find any potential red flags and prepare you for the journey ahead. The home study experience actually prepared us for some of the challenges we faced after we were chosen by our daughter's birth mom.  - Melissa

The home study was one of our favorite parts of the journey! We learned so much about adoption and our social worker has been such a blessing to us. She has been there to HELP us adopt. It was an educational experience that we're thankful to have.  - Amanda

Be honest with your home study agency. My husband had a few things happen in his life during his divorce that I thought would keep us from being able to adopt. The agency listened to everything he said and told us what to do so that we could prove everything that happened was either unfounded or eventually ruled out in court. It’s better to be honest in the beginning and get over those hurdles than have something come up after you’ve matched.  - Elizabeth



For more in this series:


If I Could Say One Thing...About Beginning the Adoption Process
If I Could Say One Thing...About the Cost of Adoption



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