One of the hardest parts of trying to grow a family can be all of the "no's" you hear along the way.
The "not pregnant" on the stick. The doctor shaking his head trying to explain the unknown. The news your profile wasn't chosen...again.
But then, the day comes when you finally hear the "yes."
And you realize, all of these "no's" were simply God's "not yets" to his perfect plan for your family.
This was Dave and Kaitlin's story of how they became a family of three. Today Kaitlin shares their journey to finding God's "yes" for their family and his sovereign timing.
Our adoption journey started in March of 2018. We would both say our adoption experience went as smooth as you could hope it to go. With that being said, it was still both an exciting and difficult time!
We reached out to Susan at Christian Adoption Consultants after being referred to her from my good childhood friend who also used her. Susan was so wonderful to work with and helped us so much throughout the process!
Once we were home study approved, Susan immediately started presenting us with expectant mom profiles. It was so very exciting to get the ball rolling and to see the potential moms/families that we could match with! After years of infertility, it was so hopeful and amazing to feel this close to our baby.
I would say this “matching” process came with lots of highs and lows. We would get so invested in the expectant mom we wanted to present to and get so hopeful and excited that she would feel the same way and "pick us" back. When you get a “no,” you can’t help but feel disappointed, sad, and even rejected. After infertility and experiencing 10 miscarriages, we were sick and tired of feeling that way. We knew going into it that we would get no’s and we tried to prepare ourselves for that, but it was still hard to fight those extreme feelings of rejection and sadness. It’s so hard to see it at the time, but those “no’s” are just God’s way of saying “this is not your baby, your baby will come.” It’s so hard to let go of control, but that’s exactly what you have to do in this process; let go of trying to control everything and let God lead you through it. God already knew the exact mom we would match with and He would make sure we wouldn’t miss her!
We actually saw our daughter's birth mom's information but initially chose not to present to her. We were concerned we would have a failed adoption because of some specific details and we honestly didn’t really feel “drawn” to her like some others we presented to. So we passed! A few weeks later, this same situation popped up again, just after we received another “no.” It turns out she didn’t connect with any of the profiles she had received and she wanted to see more families. I showed her information to my husband again and said, “Should we present to her? Why not? If it’s not meant to be, she will say no.” So we offered our profile, and, to our amazement, she chose us! We couldn’t believe it! We matched with C in August of 2018, less than two months after our home study was ready. We are so incredibly thankful that she is who we matched with; words can’t even describe the feeling. Since matching, we developed an amazing relationship with the expectant mom, C, birth dad, and their three year old son. We truly love and deeply care for them; they are now a part of our family! They constantly told us they couldn’t be any happier that S was going to be our child to raise. After matching with C, all our previous "no’s" made total sense and I was actually so glad we got them! It felt so right with C!
I would say this “matching” process came with lots of highs and lows. We would get so invested in the expectant mom we wanted to present to and get so hopeful and excited that she would feel the same way and "pick us" back. When you get a “no,” you can’t help but feel disappointed, sad, and even rejected. After infertility and experiencing 10 miscarriages, we were sick and tired of feeling that way. We knew going into it that we would get no’s and we tried to prepare ourselves for that, but it was still hard to fight those extreme feelings of rejection and sadness. It’s so hard to see it at the time, but those “no’s” are just God’s way of saying “this is not your baby, your baby will come.” It’s so hard to let go of control, but that’s exactly what you have to do in this process; let go of trying to control everything and let God lead you through it. God already knew the exact mom we would match with and He would make sure we wouldn’t miss her!
We actually saw our daughter's birth mom's information but initially chose not to present to her. We were concerned we would have a failed adoption because of some specific details and we honestly didn’t really feel “drawn” to her like some others we presented to. So we passed! A few weeks later, this same situation popped up again, just after we received another “no.” It turns out she didn’t connect with any of the profiles she had received and she wanted to see more families. I showed her information to my husband again and said, “Should we present to her? Why not? If it’s not meant to be, she will say no.” So we offered our profile, and, to our amazement, she chose us! We couldn’t believe it! We matched with C in August of 2018, less than two months after our home study was ready. We are so incredibly thankful that she is who we matched with; words can’t even describe the feeling. Since matching, we developed an amazing relationship with the expectant mom, C, birth dad, and their three year old son. We truly love and deeply care for them; they are now a part of our family! They constantly told us they couldn’t be any happier that S was going to be our child to raise. After matching with C, all our previous "no’s" made total sense and I was actually so glad we got them! It felt so right with C!
We traveled to C’s hometown in October and spent the week with her and developed such a strong bond and relationship. We talked regularly until S was born and I was honored to be in the delivery room to love and support her as she gave birth to our daughter. I got to see it all! I stood there bawling, tears streaming down my face, body shaking as I saw the most beautiful thing in the world: our daughter being born! It was truly magical. I knew the second she was born, the second I saw her, that she was meant to be ours! She was born November 20th, just two days before Thanksgiving. C signed paperwork for the adoption the very next day and they stayed that night at their home to get some rest. They came back to the hospital on Thanksgiving and we all had Thanksgiving dinner together! Talking, loving on S, laughing a lot, and bonding more as a family; it was an amazing experience!
When we left to return home, we all cried many tears. The birth family, again, kept saying how happy they were for us and that they are so incredibly joyful that we were the ones to raise S and love her for the rest of our lives. Both of her birth parents were crying as they gave her hugs and kisses goodbye. I won’t lie; it was gut wrenching to watch. My heart truly broke for them; to see their sadness and their deep love for their daughter. It was a love so deep that they wanted the best life for her. They chose to sacrifice their own happiness and completely shatter their own hearts in order for S to have the best life; was so truly beautiful.
Our daughter is our entire world. It actually pains me to even try to come up with words to describe how much we love her and how much joy she has brought us. She is our perfect baby girl, our daughter God had planned for us all this time! He knew, before she was even conceived, that she would be ours. It brings me to tears to think that out of all the babies in the world, God picked HER to be our daughter and picked US to be her parents. Every tear we have shed throughout the years of trying to grow our family, every moment of sadness and darkness has been totally worth it to lead us to our daughter. I wouldn’t change our path for anything. Adoption has blessed our family so deeply. It’s been our greatest gift and something we will always be grateful for.
