It seems fitting that Ricky and SarahEllen began their adoption journey with Christian Adoption Consultants on Valentine's Day last year. They dove into their paperwork and were home study approved days before July 4th. Three weeks later they were chosen by an expectant mom. Then, just before Thanksgiving, their daughter was born. And the years of anticipating becoming a family, the holidays spent grieving losses suddenly became a celebration that God writes the best stories.
Before we were even married, we knew we wanted to have children. Less than a year after our wedding, we decided we were ready and after three months of trying, we found out we were pregnant after a trip to Canada. We were so excited and filled with joy but sadly, just a month later, I had a miscarriage. We were told the standard: it happens and particularly with a first pregnancy. But that loss was followed by three chemical pregnancies until we were finally referred to the reproductive clinic a year later. We were praying the whole time for God to give us a child; we knew ultimately it was His timing. We had three rounds of IUI and the third resulted in another chemical pregnancy exactly a year after we had lost our first baby. My husband and I took a break before deciding to try IVF in January when we were yet pregnant again in November. But just before Christmas, we found out there was no heartbeat and the pregnancy turned out to be a partial molar pregnancy.
We had about given up all hope, when God told me one day to Google "adoption." We had looked into adoption before and heard all the standard myths about how a relationship with the birth family was like co-parenting or worse, wanting their child back later-on. We continued to pray when a co-worker, who was in the adoption process, told me they had worked with Christian Adoption Consultants. In February, we sent CAC a message and got connected with Susan. That officially began our adoption journey.
God taught us through the home study process that adoption was not at all what we thought. Not only was it a beautiful thing for babies to know their birth parents, but it can be a great way to embrace the child’s identity. We learned so much through our social worker and the training courses we took. We also changed our hearts about how we saw a birth family; eventually we decided we wanted to be open to being matched with a birth family who needed love and may not be in the best situation.
Our home study went smoothly and after we returned from an anniversary trip in June to Ireland, we found out we were finally home study approved. We began mailing profiles and applications to several different agencies in various states with help from Christian Adoption Consultants. Less than a month later on July 16th, we received an email about a mom expecting a baby girl due in December. Our hearts fluttered and we just had this amazing feeling about this expectant mom and situation. This was just the second situation emailed to us and would be the first expectant mom we would present to. We didn’t know much about her past, or the baby, but we felt God was telling us this was her. We deiced to present and less than two hours of the agency presenting our profile on the 18th, they called to tell us she picked us without even getting halfway through our book! She had that same feeling about us that we did about her. We spoke on the phone and it was instant love for this expectant mom; tears, fear, hope, love, and so much more were expressed in just a five minute conversation.
We met the expectant mom for the first time in August. We met with a hug and although the next few minutes were awkward, within an hour we felt like we had known each other for years. We saw the baby we hoped would be our daughter on a 3D ultrasound for the first time. We were still nervous knowing the expectant mom could change her mind at any time, but we were hopeful. The visit lasted longer than we all anticipated; we kept talking and were enjoying each other’s company. After that trip, we received phone calls and updates from the agency until we visited again in October. The second visit was even better than the first; we had such a connection with the expectant mom and she even allowed me to feel the baby move. Looking back I think God knew we needed her and that she needed us. The love for her we had already, even with the possibility she could change her mind, was amazing.
Less than a month later (and a full month before her due date), we got the call she was in labor. We packed up our animals to drop off at the in-laws and headed to Florida from West Virginia. We drove through the night and arrived five hours after our daughter was born on November 18th. The birth mom wanted us to be the first to hold our daughter and we named her Rosaline. It was love at first sight. We visited her and the birth mom frequently in the hospital and had a two-week NICU stay with our daughter. We were released the day after Thanksgiving and made it home on December 1st - there was much to be thankful for!
We share an open adoption with Rosaline's birth mom. We text back and forth every few days, sending pictures and updates. Phone calls and pictures have also been sent through our adoption agency and we plan to visit her soon. We pray for her and thank God for her sacrifice every day. Our love for Rosaline's birth mom is so great; she allowed us to be parents to a living child and words cannot describe how grateful we are for her selfless sacrifice to give Rosaline a life she was not able to provide.
We finalized Rosaline’s adoption on April 29th, less than 6 months after she was born. God taught us that we were meant to be parents, just not in the way we had originally planned. Rosaline didn’t grow under my heart, but in it and we love her regardless of DNA. She is our joy and our life; our precious gift from a woman who put her child first. God is good.
