Adoption Story: Stacey and Jené

One of my favorite parts of family's adoption journeys is the chance to look back at all of the ways God was working behind the scenes when we couldn't see it in the midst of the wait. 

When Stacey and Jené were home study approved, they had no idea that just days later their son would be born. They didn't learn of him for several weeks, but God did a lot of work in their hearts while they waited for this little guy who would soon be their son. 

Today Jené shares the details of their adoption and the ways they were challenged to rest and trust in God's perfect timing.

I've had a hard time knowing what to say about our adoption journey and have also felt a little guilty because our journey was quicker and smoother than many and was just about as ideal a situation as we could get. We started the process knowing and believing God already knew what our adoption journey would be, the expecting family with whom we would be matched, and the baby that would be our son or daughter. God has shown us many times that His timing is perfect, and we knew that was true for adoption too. My brother passed away from cancer in 2014; he never asked God "Why?" but would tell our family "God's got a plan." This is something that continues to speak to us. We kept our hearts open and trusted that God had a plan, and He would match us with the family and baby meant to be and in His timing. Our faith gave us comfort and peace but was also tested, especially during those times when doubt and questioning started to creep. 

Once we became active with agencies, there would be weeks we would get several situations. Then, we would go weeks without any. We prayerfully considered each situation and listened to our hearts and gut. When we presented to an expecting family, that was our "yes" and full commitment to that family and that baby. Not something we took lightly. I would question if we were finding reasons to not present to expecting families or being too "picky." Then, we would go weeks without getting a situation, and we started to question and get nervous about when we would get the opportunity to present to a family. God's timing is perfect, and He has a plan. 

We received our son's situation when we had two dear friends over for dinner; one of those friends is an adoptee who has been open and supportive from the first time we talked about our desire to adopt. From this moment, we felt God working. Our son was three weeks old and in cradle care (15 minutes from where we live) when we received the situation. We didn't have a lot of information, but we knew he was a healthy baby boy. We presented to his birth mother, and a few days later, Stacey woke me up at 12:30 AM and said, "I guess I can start calling you 'Mom.'" We got an email at midnight to let us know our son's birth mom chose us. Neither of us slept the rest of the night. 

The following four weeks felt like four months! This was probably the most challenging time with the widest range of emotions! Meetings with our son's birth mom were canceled and rescheduled three times and finally happened via Zoom. The appointment for our son's birth mom to sign papers was canceled and rescheduled four times (which would have been five times if not for her lawyer going above and beyond). Each time, our anticipation would grow as it got closer to the time she was going to sign, and then, we would get a text to let us know the appointment was canceled but our son's birth mom still wanted to continue with the adoption plan and with us. Although, we should have continued to feel hopeful when we were told she wanted to continue with the plan, we would feel discouraged, angry, fearful, which also only grew after each cancelation. Honestly, almost each time, I said "I just want to cuss and cry." Our son was well loved and cared for in cradle care, but I also didn't think it was fair for this baby to be waiting for his family, whether that was us, his birth mom, or another family. We had to refocus our thoughts and hearts, pray, and remember what was true. We would refocus our thoughts and prayers on our son's birth mom, which wasn't always easy, either. But we know what she was doing and going through was way harder than we can ever imagine and way more than what we were feeling. Stacey didn't waver in his belief that this baby would be our son. I thought he would be our son too, but I was guarded and didn't want to get our hopes up. It was an internal struggle to know the truths of our faith but to also feel like I needed to guard my heart and be prepared if this was a failed match. Within three days of our son's birth mom signing papers, he was placed with us. All of the frustration, doubt, fear we felt melted away when we got to hold our son. 

Our son's birth mom wanted an open adoption, which is what we want too. We email monthly updates and pictures. We've only heard from her one time since placement in June. We hope and pray for healing, peace, and comfort for her and that some day, we can have the open adoption we all spoke about when we met virtually. Until then, we talk to our son about his birth mom, our admiration and appreciation for her, and what she shared she wants for him. We pray for her. We talk to him about all the people who love him and have loved him from the very beginning. We pray over him that he always knows how loved he is and that he knows he was created for a plan and a purpose. 

We were blessed with our beautiful red-headed, blue-eyed boy and with a situation that was ideal for us. It wasn't without it's frustrations and tears. We were also blessed with two people who walked beside us through this journey who supported, encouraged, validated our feelings, brought us back to reality, were patient, and always available to listen and to share their wisdom and all with no judgement, Susan with Christian Adoption Consultants and our friend, Becca, who connected us to CAC and Susan in the beginning. Susan, Becca, along with the adoption agency will always have a special place in our hearts as God used each one in growing our family and bringing our son home. 

Adoption Story: Brad and Corinne (again!)

Last week I shared the beginning of Brad and Corinne's story of their second adoption with Christian Adoption Consultants. If you missed her account of how God miraculously led them on a journey to parenthood for the second time, make sure to read part one here: In Their Own Words: An Adoptive Mama Shares her Journey to Motherhood.

Today I'm honored to share the second half of the story of sweet Naomi Rae...

Photos by Sohale Photography

As Brad and I took steps towards a second adoption, we had the joy of working again with our beloved social worker, Clair, and adoption consultant, Susan, who both had helped us bring Floyd home. People in this field of work are nothing short of saints, and we honestly have been blessed with the best in the biz. Paperwork for adoption is like an endless goose chase. Time and again, you'll think you finally have everything needed, only to find out you don't. But, by the end of August 2020, we were home study ready, and we were able to see possible expectant mama scenarios as September began. 

 

On Monday, September 14^th, we read through the second scenario we'd been sent. It looked terrific, but the scenario did not say whether the baby was a girl or a boy, and we would not know before being officially matched. I have wanted a daughter for a long time and honestly just had a little girl in my heart.  Of course, had I been able to get pregnant, I would not have been able to choose whether I was having a boy or girl. But one of the weird parts of adoption is having a choice in some of this stuff. While Brad was excited about this second expectant mama scenario and open to either a boy or a girl, I started feeling confused: Am I just running with this idea of a girl because it's what I want? Is Jesus asking us to veer in a different direction? What does He actually want us to do? I called on a few close friends to pray for peace and wisdom for us in this. There didn’t seem to be any urgency in the original scenario that required us to submit our profile in to present ASAP, so we decided to sleep on it and wait. 

 

That Wednesday, I received a text from our trusted consultant, Susan, saying, "Have you all decided if you will be presenting to Mariah? Her caseworker just reached out to me and said they were hoping to present Mariah with a family who was already raising a black child." We had thought we had several more days to make a decision. I remember telling Brad that I felt unsure of what to do. So we prayed, "Lord, we want to do what you want us to do. Would you give us some confirmation, a word, or something from someone we trust as to what we are to do?"  

 

While we were praying, the mauve chair I had ordered for the nursery (mauve obviously a perfect color for the girl-themed nursery I had envisioned) arrived at our front door by delivery. When I sent a quick text to my Bible study group and family to pray for us, I saw I had a voice text waiting for me from one of my dearest friends, Leah. Her message said, "Hey love, I was hesitant to share this with you because I am human and could totally be wrong, but since you asked me to pray Monday for you about the scenario with Mariah, the phrase, "This is Naomi, This is Naomi" keeps playing in my mind. Last night, during Bible study, I heard the phrase again, and my heart started racing. This morning I felt like it would be wrong for me to not share it with you."

 

As I played the text for Brad, we stared at each other, completely shocked. Brad said, "Well, if that wasn't the most direct answer to prayer of all time!" I called my Mom to tell her what had happened. Naturally, she's super protective of me and knows how deeply I desired to have a girl. She said, "Corinne, this is just another opportunity to trust the Lord. He is the one putting your family together. He knows what is in your heart." So with tears running down my face, I looked at Brad and told him that we should present. 

 

Brad and I talked about how there was no worst-case scenario: if this expectant mama were to choose us, it would result in a baby, a sibling for Floyd! At that moment, I realized that, more than specifically wanting a girl, I wanted what Jesus had for our family, which also made me realize how much Jesus had been healing my heart. Looking back, I see that the things He had for me all along. While they may have looked different than what I pictured, all have turned out to be far more abundant than I ever could have dreamed for myself. With fresh hope and gratitude, we sent in our profile and waited. 

 

A week later, we received an email from Mariah's caseworker, saying she really liked our family but would like to have a phone call with us that coming Sunday before deciding. The caseworker told us to come prepared with questions to help the conversation along since Mariah was soft-spoken. Given that Floyd’s birth mama was also very soft-spoken, we thought we knew what to expect. When I called Mariah that Sunday, she didn't pick up initially, rather, calling us back a couple of hours later. I picked up the phone as she said, "WHAT'S UP, YOU GUYS! I am SO excited to be talking with you! I don't even know what to ask you because I am just so excited about all of this!"

Brad and I looked at each other and were like, "Is this the right number?!" Conversation with her was so easy! She said things like, "I've always loved adoption. My mom adopted me when I was little, and I always had everything I needed because she was in my life. I know this is going to be a wonderful experience. I can't wait for you guys to come down – that's when our real relationship can begin!" 

Photo by Megan Schmitz Photography

Part of the adoption process included us making a profile book for expectant moms to look through that introduces our family (kind of like a little magazine about our family and our hopes, dreams, etc.). One of our book's photos was a shot of our feet, all of us wearing Jordans, with a pair of matching baby Jordans next to mine. Mariah said, "Those baby shoes in your book are girls' shoes, aren't they? Are you guys hoping to have a girl? Because I am having a girl!"  

 

Brad had to pick my jaw off the floor! We got off the phone, completely shocked! We had gone into that call hoping to put our best foot forward and ease any uncertainly Mariah might have IF she chose us. Instead, Mariah practically told us she'd already chosen us for her baby and that she was having a girl! A few days later, on September 30^th, we received official confirmation from the agency that we were legally and officially matched with Mariah! I was reminded of the word Beth shared with me a few years earlier, "End of September, you will be pregnant with a baby girl." If this wasn't pregnant with a baby girl for an infertile woman like myself, I'm not sure what was.  

I'm well acquainted with disappointment, and thus have a natural propensity to be wary of God really seeing me or honestly caring about the things in my heart. It turns out –Jesus not only see’s it all, but deeply cares. My desire to have a daughter was placed in my heart by Jesus Himself to lead us to Naomi.  He has been working through every single detail. Ecclesiastes 3:11 keeps coming to mind, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

By the way, we are in our 8^th year of trying to have a baby. Did you know that the number eight in Scripture signifies new beginnings? A new beginning for our family, indeed! A few weeks ago, I told the ladies at my beautiful baby shower that the places in my life that had felt dead and hopeless seem to be blooming with life. It isn't because I have brought life to them; it is because Jesus has breathed on places full of familiar despair and brought His hope and resurrecting life as only He can.

 

All along, God wasn't leading me through painful places to disappoint or hurt me. He was after deeper healing, one I've desperately needed and would never have fathomed possible. As much as Naomi Rae, our Beautiful Understanding, brings healing just by her arrival, she brings with her a beautiful understanding to her Mama of Jesus' unending and abiding love for her (me). God IS a good Father who IS trustworthy and kind. Naomi has given me a broader and clearer lens of who Jesus truly is. Her story has shattered the distorted lenses I've used for years to look at God.  

 

A few weeks ago, Brad and I were talking, and Brad shared that in his quiet time that morning, he heard God speak something specific to him. He has been praying over some specific situations that we knew only God could heal. And yet to our human understanding, some of these circumstances seemed beyond reach; we had been praying over them for years, but they still seemed so broken. In his prayer time, as Brad was praying over these situations, he heard God say, “I am good; I bring beauty from ashes.” As Brad felt the Lord say this, God also brought to mind Floyd’s adoption. Brad shared that he felt God showing him that there are few things that demonstrate his ability to bring beauty from ashes than adoption. The circumstances that a birth mom faces that lead her to place her baby for adoption are often incredibly difficult and many times even impacted by systemic issues well beyond her control. For us as adoptive parents, part of the reason we pursue adoption is because of incredible brokenness and disappointment in our own lives. And yet, the Lord uses all of this brokenness to create such a beautiful story of redemption. Personally, there is nothing we’ve ever done which has brought us greater joy than adopting Floyd. And to think that we get to walk this path again with Naomi is so incredible. 

 

Friends, Jesus is actually for you!  He is Faithful. He never abandons. He brings beauty from ashes. He has actually given me more, just like He said. 

 

"Because of the LORD's great love, we are not consumed,

for His compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

I said to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him.

The Lord is good to those who hope is in Him."

Lamentations 3:22-23

 

        “Those who sow in tears will reap shouts of joy.”

Psalm 126:5

 

With all our love,

Corinne, Brad, Floyd, & Naomi