Adoption Story: Alex and Emily

Alex and Emily began their adoption journey the winter of 2020. While it was easy to assume their adoption process would be smooth, little did they know a global pandemic was about to rock the world. In the last two years, Alex and Emily learned new ways to embrace patience and trust God's timing for their family. Today Emily shares the story of how they welcomed their son into their family!

Our journey to adopting our sweet little guy is nothing short of a miracle and leaning into God's timing (which is never our own!). We began the adoption process in the Winter of 2020 and went active with an agency March 2, 2020. Yep. You read that right...just 11 days shy of the world turning upside down! Even in the midst of uncertainty, we held onto hope that the Lord would sustain us through this process. We were shocked to match just a few short weeks later, but were heartbroken when the due date approached a few months later and it turned out to be a scam. After almost another year of waiting we matched again with a young couple and walked through the pregnancy with them offering encouragement, support, and prayers along the way. Ultimately, right before the baby was born they decided to parent and while we were heartbroken, we continued to pray for the Lord to strengthen their little family throughout the baby's life. 

We began to feel like adoption would maybe never happen for us, but clung onto our family's verse; Jeremiah 29:11-13: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  We strive to remember the Lord’s promises for our family and to seek Him throughout every rise and fall of the adoption process.

At this point in our adoption journey, just shy of two years in with two failed matches, we decided to try an alternate route and looked into an adoption consultant. We interviewed a few agencies and were thrilled to meet Susan with Christian Adoption Consultants. She answered every question we had, listened to our fears and hopes from our previous experience, and explained all the ways a consultant can help to "cast our net wider." She also helped us create the most perfect adoption profile book that truly captured who our family is, and that ultimately aided in connecting us with our son's birth mom!

In December of 2021, in a local foster/adoptive mom Facebook group, a fellow adoptive mom posted about how her daughter's birth mom was pregnant again and looking for an adoptive family. Following a nudge from the Lord, we reached out and eventually connected with our son's birth mom. We emailed and texted for two months getting to know each other and before any lawyers or adoption anything began to shape up, we were surprised to get a call that the baby was born in an emergency situation seven weeks early! We dropped everything and headed down to Tennessee to be with her and our little guy. He was born at just 2 pounds 2 ounces and stayed in the NICU for a month growing stronger. After a whirlwind of a month away from home and our older son driving down with our parents to visit, it was the best feeling in the world to drive the ten hours back to Virginia with both boys in the car!

When we began the adoption process we naively thought we would be the story of the family who matched quickly and brought a baby home within a few short months! But what it didn't leave room for in that "picture perfect plan" was all the ways the Lord was going to continue to push us out of our comfort zone, leading us to become a foster family, grow in compassion for others, serve our community, and wrestle with patience when there seemed to be a lack of forward motion. Our son's adoption paperwork was filed on March 2, 2022, exactly two years after we began our adoption journey. Had we given up, we never would have brought our beautiful son home. We look forward to raising our son to know the Lord, be an important member of our family and his biological siblings and family, and to serve all in love. He will do mighty things this side of eternity - we just know it!

Adoption Story: Jared and Abbie {Part 2}

Earlier this week, Jarred and Abbie, began to share the story of welcoming their son into their family (as  Abbie blogged over at Naturalee Homestead throughout the process). Check out Part One here. Today Abbie is sharing excepts from the second half of their adoption journey with Christian Adoption Consultants. I especially love how honestly she shares the emotional roller coaster the hospital experience can bring, the bittersweetness of adoption, and the incredible love they have for their son's birth mother.

March 25, 2022, Archer's Birth Story 

Saturday morning, March 12th, Jarred and I got in the car and started our ten and a half hour drive to Utah. I was so excited and yet had the pit in my stomach of “what if.” What if we get there and the agency calls and says she changes her mind. What if we meet her at dinner and she doesn’t like us? What if we meet the baby and she changes her mind at the last minute. How would I handle it?

The whole drive there we just kept talking about how excited we were and nervous. We talked about his name and that we were pretty sure that was the right one. We talked about logistics, sang a lot of 90s country songs, and were over joyed when we realized speed limits through Idaho were 80 mph!

Headed to Utah!

We got to our hotel around 8:30pm and were checked in by the kindest woman. Sunday we slept in and decided to have a slow morning. We made coffee and breakfast and talked excitedly about dinner scheduled for that night, where we would be meeting Archers birth mom, Mama J for the first time. We were excited and nervous. Wanting her to like us, and hoping that we would just click.

The fifteen minute car ride to dinner I kept telling Jarred, I feel like I’m going to puke, I was so nervous! Mama J walked through the door of the restaurant and I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes. It was so nice to finally meet the woman who we had been praying for, and who had chosen us to be the parents of her child.

We were able to connect and multiple times she said how sure she was of choosing us, and that she was so thankful for us. We discussed her wishes for openness moving forward and our wishes for her to be a part of his life. We left feeling so at peace, so thankful and also so heartbroken for her. Adoption is such a roller coaster of a ride. Highest of highs and lowest of lows. 

The next morning, March 14th, Mama J went in to be induced. Around 1:00pm we got a text that she was 4cm dilated. We were headed to grab lunch at about 2:00 when we got a text she was fully dilated and doctor was on his way! We were so excited and ran back to our hotel to eat. About 2:45pm we got a call that he was born at 2:29pm, 6lbs 13oz and 19 inches long! We quickly got a text with a couple pictures and he was absolutely perfect! She said they would let us know when Mama J was ready for us to come.

The first picture we saw of our sweet boy.

We sat at the hotel giddy with anticipation! We packed and repacked bags hoping the hospital would allow us to spend the first night with him there. At about 3:30pm, we got a text that Mama J had decided she would like to spend the day and night with him and for us to come the next day instead. Our hearts shattered when we read those words. I burst into tears that this baby was so close and yet untouchable.

We cried together, not only because we couldn’t see him, but what does this mean? We knew it was good for her to spend time with him before she says goodbye. And yet the idea that she might change her mind and we may never get to meet him was looming over us. We turned on worship music and spent the next two hours crying and praying. I kept telling myself that she gets 24 hours, and we would get the rest of his life, and she deserves to spend the time she wants with him. After we sat with the news we sent a text to Mama J, telling her that we were happy she was getting time with him and that we couldn’t wait to meet him tomorrow. We went to bed early feeling helpless, emotional, and hoping that tomorrow would be better news.

After the worst night of sleep ever, waking every couple hours and just praying for what was to come, we woke up and got a text that we were to be at the hospital at 11am! At 10:40am we got in the car and made our way to the postpartum unit. We were buzzed in and asked to wait in a room labeled bonding. After a couple minutes Mama J’s caseworker came in and said Mama J had decided not to be there when we met the baby and for us to go in together. Right then Mama J came in and said hi to us. We gave her the biggest hug and told her how beautiful he was and how thankful we are for her. We gave her some flowers and hugged her again. As she went back to her room she said to us “You have a cute boy in there!” and we were walked to the nursery to meet our son for the first time!

Tuesday, March 15th at 11am, almost 24 hours after Archer had been born, we walked into the nursery to meet our son. We were greeted by the sweetest nurse, Jocelyn, who gave us a hug and said how excited she was for us! I immediately began to cry overcome with emotion. So much back and forth, so much heartache and longing, it was finally here. The day I had quite literally been waiting my entire life for. To meet our son!

We were taken into a small room and after a couple minutes they wheeled in the tiniest, sweetest boy. I picked him up from his bed and instantly knew this was the baby God had chosen for us. The most perfect, beautiful baby. This baby was the reason for all those negative pregnancy tests, for all the “not yets” from expectant moms. It was all because this was the boy, hand picked out for us.

Our first family picture.

We cried as we held and looked at our sweet baby. I felt the most peace I had felt since we left for Utah. Which can only be explained by God’s grace and perfect peace. We still had 3 and a half hours until mama J would sign papers, officially relinquishing her legal parental rights. The earliest she could sign documents is 24 hours after birth per Utah state law. Once she signed, it would be permanent and irrevocable.

When I thought of what this time in waiting would be like, I imagined I would be filled with fear and doubt. But I sat and held this perfect baby in total peace. We spent the next few hours with him until it was time for consents to be signed. My heart broke for Mama J. Knowing what she was about to do, and what she was about to give up— raising this precious boy.

We prayed for Mama J to have strength and feel peace in her decision. After about 30 minutes the consents were signed and she was quite upset. I got up and gave her a hug. I told her that I promised we would take the best care of him and that we already loved him so much! That we were so proud of her and promised we would send photos and updates. We told her she was amazing, and that we would make sure he knew how incredible she was. Jarred and I had talked about it, and felt that it was important she know her son’s full name, including his last name. Most agencies keep last names from both the adoptive and birth family. We told her that we wanted her to know our last name and that we truly hope she is a big part of our lives. She thanked us over and over for telling her, and said how thankful she was for us and that she went with her gut when she chose us.

We walked her out to the car and gave her another hug goodbye promising to keep her updated. We went back up to be with our son and all day (all week really) had tears in our eyes for his birth mama, who was grieving her baby while we sat holding him, finally having everything we ever wanted. That bittersweet feeling is something I will never forget.

Archer is doing amazing! We spend our days snuggled up bonding skin to skin. He had a special visitor on his one week birthday, his birth mom! She came and snuggled him and got to see his beautiful face in person after seeing the many pictures I sent. She told me again how much it meant to her for us to allow her to come visit and to have shared our last name. She said while it’s been hard she is doing well and is so thankful she chose us and that he has us. She said she knows she did the right thing for him.

We love Mama J, we love open adoption, and we hope that our relationship with her will only grow stronger. We are so in awe of how perfectly this entire journey was orchestrated by God. From the beginning we had been praying for a birth mama who was kind, strong, loving and someone we could really bond with, trust and love. And boy did God deliver! We are so thankful, so in love, and so ready to get home and introduce him to family and friends!

We are the luckiest parents and we think it’s pretty cool that Archer has us and his birth mom loving him fiercely.

Adoption Story: Jared and Abbie {Part 1}

Jarred and Abbie have an amazing story of welcoming their son into their family with the help of Christian Adoption Consultants. And Abbie chronicled it over on her blog, Naturalee Homestead throughout the process. Today Abbie is graciously sharing excerpts here to share the story of their son and God's faithfulness as they grew their family through adoption. Today you'll get the first half of their adoption journey!

May 28, 2021, We Are Adopting!

We have been waiting in anticipation to grow our family and it has been more challenging than we expected. After several doctor visits, rounds of lab work, second opinions and lots of prayer, we were told naturally conceiving could continue to be difficult for us. 

Instead we will be pursuing domestic infant adoption! Meaning our baby could be born anywhere in the US, most likely not from Washington. Currently, we are in the home study process and creating our profile book. The home study, and the profile book are some of the most important pieces. The home study gives us the OK to go “active” and present to expecting families. The book is how expectant moms will get an idea of who we are.

Adoption is exciting, scary, hard and beautiful. It is a journey that comes from brokenness and we are prepared for a lot of ups and downs. We know that God has led us on this path. Already, He has shown us that he has been intentionally placing people in our lives to prepare us for this journey. We are confident he already knows our baby, and when that baby will be in our arms. Through this whole process the song “Promise Keeper” by Hope Darst has been a wonderful reminder of God’s faithfulness.

You are the promise keeper, your word will never fail. My heart can trust you Jesus. I wont be overwhelmed. My eyes are going to see, miracles and victories. You are a promise keeper, your word will never fail.

I see your goodness in the land of the living, I see your goodness right here right now. ‘Cause you know the ending before the beginning, I know that you have worked all things out.

Promise Keeper, By Hope Darst

We are so excited to share our journey. We know that it very well could be a long road. But we trust that there is something for us in each step, in each high and low, and that it will all lead to our precious baby!

With much gratitude,

Jarred and Abbie

July 20, 2021, Adoption Update

It has been just shy of two months since we announced that we were adopting! And a whirlwind at that! It has been full of paperwork, phone calls, lots of prayer, fundraising and overall excitement! We are so thankful for everyone that has shared their excitement with us, and for those that have generously donated already! We wanted to provide an update of what we have been doing since we announced.

Home Study: As of today we are officially Home Study Ready! This means we are legally ready to adopt when the situation arises! We had a fabulous social worker who was so quick and helpful in this process. We had to gather tons of documents, have a 90 minute interview, home visit, and complete a 15 page document all about us and our past. We got two separate sets of fingerprinting done, one locally and the other in the Seattle area. We are now the proud owners of a 15 page written report about us with the seal of approval!

Profile Book: The talented and lovely Meaghan Bickel, of Joy Photography Ellensburg heard our story and offered to take our photos for our profile book as a donation to us. We are so incredibly thankful for her generous gift of her time and talent. We got our photos back last week and they turned out beautifully!! They truly capture us, our life and personalities. We submitted them to our profile designer and should have our profile book completed soon! Once that is complete we will order copies to be printed. Once we have those printed we will submit the applications to the agencies we have chosen to work with and we will then be an active family waiting for a match!

Fundraising: We have been overwhelmed and humbled with so many people coming together and donating to us to help with our adoption expenses! We have received so many generous direct donations of funds that have been added to our adoption account. We also had so many items donated to us for our fundraising yard sale. The two day yard sale alone brought in over $2,600!! Far exceeding our expectations! We are so excited to announce that we are halfway to our fundraising goal! We still have a long way to go, but being halfway there only two months into our journey is AMAZING!

These sweet cousins hustled at our yard sale to raise funds to bring home their new cousin!

Next Steps: Next step is applying to agencies. We are waiting for our profile book to be completed and then we will mail the application packages. Once received by the agencies they will go through all of our documents and then we will become an active family! When we are active, we will wait to hear from the agencies about “situations.” Situations are when an expectant mother or family has contacted the agency and has decided to move forward with making an adoption plan. When a situation comes up they will present it to us and we get to decide after reading the information if we would like our profile presented. If we choose to present, they will include our profile book with the other families who have said yes to presenting and the expectant mother/family will choose from there. This is where the waiting game truly starts.

Prayer Requests:

• Please pray that we will continue to have peace in our hearts and minds as we wait to be selected and matched.
• That we can raise the remaining funds needed for adoption expenses.
• We ask that you pray for the expectant mother and family who we will match with. That she will be surrounded by supportive people, feel confident and peace in her decision to make an adoption plan. And that she will just “know” we are the family for her child when she sees our profile book.

August 6, 2021, We Are Active, Waiting to Match!

We are so excited to announce that we are an active, waiting family! Our home study is done, our profile book has been printed (it turned out beautifully!) and we are officially in the portion of waiting. We are prepared for this part to take some time (but hope that it won’t). Along with everything else, Covid has impacted the number of US adoptions. So it's likely our wait time will be a bit longer.

It's a bit of a weird shift. For over two months we have been busy with research, paperwork and decisions. Now our only job is to wait, present to situations, and continue to pray for the expectant mama we will eventually match with, and wait some more. We have already started to see situations and got our first “Not yet” as the adoption world likes to call it, even though it feels like a big NO. While we knew the likely hood of being chosen on our first presentation was slim to none, we couldn’t help but think “What if” and look at flights and airbnb’s in the area of the expectant mama. Even though we are disappointed, we are at peace with knowing this isn’t the baby God has planned for us.

 

Luckily we have many things to keep our hands busy as we wait. Nursery preparations have begun! While many people choose not to start the nursery until they have been matched, its a fun project for me that feels intentional. It's also a place that I can spend time praying for our expectant mama and baby. We have no idea when we will match and in the event it is quick, we want to minimize stress by having things ready. We have the carseat, crib and a few items washed in the event we get a call that baby has already been born and we need to get on a plane. While that is an unlikely scenario, it's nice to know we are prepared. I spent this past weekend organizing clothes by gender and size. We have been blessed with enough hand-me-downs from cousins to clothe boy girl twins up until 2 years old!

Throughout this whole process Jarred and I keep looking at each other and saying “Wow, we have the best community of people!” We are overwhelmed each day by the generosity of so many. Multiple times we have been in tears of gratitude when we think of all the people supporting us. We truly are so thankful for each prayer, congratulations message, interest in the process and donation to help with the significant costs associated with adoption. We truly have the best family and friends!!

Prayer Requests

• Continued prayers for the expectant mama we will be matched with. That she feels supported, peace in her decision and that she just “knows” we are meant to be her baby’s parents.
• For peace and patience in our hearts. That we can push all anxiety and fear away, and go forward in peace knowing our family will come together in His perfect timing.
• That we will feel a strong connection to the right situations to present to. That He will protect us from situations that are not meant to be and guide us on when to and when not to present.
• That He will keep our baby protected from any potential harms.
• That the funds needed will be available as we need them to bring this sweet babe home!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! From the bottom of our hearts for being a part of our tribe and cheering us on. We truly couldn’t do this without you all.

With love and gratitude,

Abbie and Jarred

December 25, 2021, We Are Matched!

 

We had the most special Christmas this year! Christmas Eve was spent with family going to Christmas service at church, appetizer party at our house after, where the kids made gingerbread houses and opened gifts from Jarred and I. And then we spent the evening playing games and spending time together.

After everyone went home and we were finished cleaning up I checked my phone and saw I had a missed call from our adoption agency along with a voicemail! We had presented to a situation about 3 weeks prior and had assumed we wouldn’t hear back until after Christmas as it had already been a longer wait time than the others we had presented to. My heart began to beat quickly as we had always received an email with an update that we had not been chosen prior… never a phone call!

I listened to the voicemail from our case worker saying “Hi Abbie I am calling on Christmas Eve, and just give me a call back as soon as you can!” I grabbed Jarred and we called her back together. She quickly answered and shared the news that an incredibly brave and selfless woman had chosen us to parent her child! She wanted to make sure that we found out on Christmas Eve or Christmas so that we would get the best present this year! We immediately began to cry out of so much excitement and thankfulness! She went on to say that we had been the first book she looked at out of the stack of books she had received and was drawn to us immediately. But she wanted to give everyone a chance. Which is why her decision took longer. This was such an answer to our prayers! Each situation we have presented to, our prayer was that the expectant mom would feel immediately drawn to the right family and she would feel at peace, even if we weren’t that family.

We are so excited to share and announce that we are officially matched! Baby boy is due March 2022! We can not wait to meet him and his incredible mother who chose us! We already feel so connected to her and love her and that sweet baby boy so much!

Thank you for all of your prayers so far! We have made it through the first step of waiting, and now onto the second wait time until baby is born. We would ask for continued prayer for a healthy mom and baby. That the time between now and birth our relationship with the expectant mama will grow and we can have a good foundation to begin what we hope to be a life long relationship! And lastly please pray that any anxieties in this wait will be pushed aside. While she has chosen us and we have committed to one another, she can change her mind at any time until she signs documents 24 hours after birth making it final.

Thank you for all of your support! We can’t wait to keep you updated and share news of our sons' arrival in just a couple short months!

Stay tuned for part two of Jared and Abbie's story in the coming days! (You can find it here!)