Embryo Adoption Story: Matthew and Kati

Today I'm thrilled to share a first. This past Spring. Christian Adoption Consultants welcomed our first-ever baby through embryo adoption! I was blessed to work with his parents, Matthew and Kati, as they walked through the process of adopting sweet Josiah as an embryo, going through the frozen embryo transfer, and carrying his pregnancy. I was in awe watching them prayerfully and thoughtfully go through each step so intentionally and today Kati shares a bit about their journey.

Matthew and I adopted Josiah when he was a 5-day-old embryo in August of 2023. He was placed in the care of a medical facility anonymously, which means that his genetic parents did not want to disclose identifying information or have a relationship with his adoptive parents. Many such embryos are placed alongside their genetic siblings, also in frozen, embryonic state. Josiah, however, was on his own. It is not uncommon for singletons like him to be adopted with less frequency than genetic sibling groups. According to the paperwork, he was truly alone.

And yet nothing could be further from the truth. Josiah has always had, and will always have, the best of fathers: Jehovah himself. The Father who says to each of us, “I have called you by name; you are mine”. No amount of genetic assurance or nuclear family members could ever assuage the longing in our hearts to be truly known and loved. Only our Creator can do that. One day, Jesus will call us to our true home in Heaven.

In the meantime, we rejoice daily that God brought each of us together. He united Matthew and me eight years ago. He has also entrusted us, despite all our shortcomings, with three precious kiddos. Josiah’s older siblings Isla (just 6) and Callum (almost 4) tend to him with unrivaled tenderness and zeal. Since the moment he was born, Matthew and I find ourselves saying to each other, “He may have only joined us a few months ago, but it feels like he has always been a part of us.”

Questions to Ask When Hiring An Adoption Consultant

There are a lot of critical decisions to make when it comes to adoption. Domestic or international? What about foster care? Agency or private adoption? Go it alone or hire a consultant to help guide you on your journey?

But once you decide on domestic infant adoption and that you want a consultant to walk with you, how do you decide which consultant group to work with? With several consultant firms to choose from, how do you know which one is the best fit for your family? 

I've compiled a list of questions to ask when you interview potential consultants. Use this list to get the most information, educate yourself on the specific services available, and how things work with each consulting firm.

Services

• How long is your contract? Is it good through match or successful placement? 
• Do you offer profile creation or review services? Do you have stats showing how helpful your profile services are? Do you offer online profile and video services?
• What kind of ongoing support and communication is available throughout the length of our contract? 
• What are your stats: number of successful adoptions, percentage of failed adoptions, average wait times, etc.?
• Do you offer any adoption training or courses that provide training certificates?
• Do you offer assistance with agency applications and adoption financing?

Consultants and Staff

• What kind of training do your consultants go through to provide adoption services?
• What professional experience and education does your staff have? So you have any licensed social workers on your team?
• Do you have birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents on your team?
• What controls and oversight do you have to ensure quality of care and ethics?

Recommended Agencies and Attorneys

• What are your standards for the agencies and attorneys you recommend?
• What kind of services do the agencies and attorneys offer for expectant and birth families?
• What kind of vetting does an agency/attorney go through to be a part of your recommended agency list?
• Do we have access to the agency information (name, address, contact info, and application information) and can we reach out directly with questions?
• Does your company receive any “kickbacks” or financial gains or have any financial ties to any adoption agencies or attorneys you recommend?

Situations

• Are there requirements to saying yes or no to presenting?
• How much time do we have to decide if we want to present?
• Will we know when we see a situation what agency or attorney it's from?
• Do we know when we are being presented? How can we be sure?
• Do we need to pay a fee to present to situations?
• How much information are we given to review for each situation? Is there a fee schedule included? Do we have access to social/medical history, information on the birth father, prenatal records, etc.?

A few other things to consider:

• It should be easy to get a hold of a consultant. Communication is key when you're adopting and being able to easily reach someone in a timely manner matters!
• In the same vein, you should feel like they are happy to answer your questions and knowledgeable about the entire adoption process. Ask about their professional and personal experience in adoption.
• Don't hesitate to ask for references and search for online reviews of other adoptive families who have used their services.

Ultimately, you want to feel confident and comfortable with the consultant and consultant group you choose. They will be walking with you during your adoption journey to guide you, advocate for you, and educate you. But they will also be there to be a listening ear, possibly a shoulder to cry on, and to pray with you as you work to add a baby to your family. Finding someone you trust will be invaluable.

If you want to find out more about Christian Adoption Consultants and our consulting services, feel free to email me for a info packet. I'll be happy to answer these (and any) questions you have!