The Lord is Near to the Brokenhearted...
I originally wrote this as a journal entry to help with my grieving process after my wife and I had an “interrupted adoption.” If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s when an adoption doesn’t happen as planned, and a mom decides to parent her child instead. I wrote this for myself for my grieving and healing journey, but I feel led by God to share this with anyone else going through that same situation. There is a kind of joy that transcends circumstances and outcomes, and that’s the kind of power that I’m inviting you to tap into, and the frame of mind that I’m inviting you to live in.
The inspiration for this comes from a few places. First, from a recent period of suffering my wife, Kenna, and I went through, but also from two resources I found invaluable when we were grieving. Those resources are a quote from Brother Lawrence and Psalm 34:18. As noted in the book The Practice of the Presence of God, an old French friar named Brother Lawrence once said, “We ought to give ourselves up to God, with regard both to things temporal and spiritual, and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether He lead us by suffering or by consolation, for all would be equal to a soul truly resigned.” The main topic of whatever this devotion is… you guessed it. Suffering. I want to start by giving you the main points, then I’ll tell you about a day in 2025 when Kenna and I suffered, and then we’ll unpack the three main points.
Point one is that we must suffer well. Point two: God is a restorer. Point three is that we need to come out of the tomb.
Before we dive in, I’m going to share with you about a time in 2025 when Kenna and I both suffered. In November of 2025, I gave a sermon about adoption at our church as Kenna and I were preparing to adopt a baby girl. We had picked out her name, told all of our family and friends, prayed and prophesied over her life, we had the nursery decorated, and I practiced putting in and removing the car seat, folding the stroller, and everything else I’d have to be comfortable with doing with a crying baby. We drove down to the Dallas, Texas area on December 4th, the night before the expecting mom’s induction date, to spend the night at her grandparents’ home. Then it’s December 5th, induction day. We’re excited, eagerly anticipating the arrival of the little girl we’ve been expecting for months. Before we walk out the door that morning, I have Kenna, and I pray together. I specifically remember praying, “Lord, we so want this child, but let thy will be done.” And I remember hearing Him say, “Let’s find out if you really mean that.” We close in prayer, and the mom texts our adoption specialist that mom has been induced. And then she goes silent. We text our adoption specialist throughout the day asking for updates, and she continues to say she doesn’t have any. Next thing we know, it’s late at night. We scrambled to find a hotel room because we thought we would be in a hospital room with a baby by then. We check in to our hotel, call our adoption specialist, all of us agree that it’s been a long, weird day, and she tells us to try and sleep while we can. Neither of us can sleep. It seems we’re both awake at the top of the hour every hour. We’re restless. In the wee hours of the morning, we make coffee and pray again. “Lord, let thy will be done and bring us strength, comfort, and peace with whatever it is.” We call our adoption specialist, and she still had not heard from the expecting mom. We had to check out of our hotel room. Exhausted, we headed to the one place we knew we could find some comfort… a coffee shop. As we were just around the corner from our caffeine boost, we got the news we were dreading. The mom was postpartum. She had decided to parent. We were no longer adopting that baby girl. We’re confused. Our hearts are breaking, having been so excited and ready to welcome this baby girl into our home, but also respectful of the mom’s choice to keep her family together. We’re sad, happy, and confused. We pray. We cry. We pray some more. We cry some more. I remember being demanding of God in one of my prayers in that parking lot that day. “Lord, don’t you waste this pain. Don’t you allow this heartbreak to happen and not use it for your glory. Let us mourn, yes, but let this story bring you glory. And yet… Lord, if we went through all of that just for us to share and live the Gospel towards the mother, and for her to see how much You care for and love her, then all of it was worth it.” And ever since that moment in the White Rhino Coffee parking lot, I have heard every single day, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” That comes from Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” And as the Lord continued to give me that verse, I could see, almost like I had a vision, that I had two paths before me. One that spiritually led to life: pursuing Him deeper and using this story to glorify God, and the other leading to sin and sorrow. So, I dove into God’s Word to see what He says about suffering and to seek out examples of when He was near to the brokenhearted. He inspired me to not only share mine and Kenna’s story with you earlier but also to share these simple takeaways from Scripture.
I was reminded of James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you suffer trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” I think this is a call for us as Christians to suffer well. Because James, inspired by the Holy Spirit, did not say, “Consider it pure joy that you have suffered trials of many kinds in the past and God brought you out the other side.” No, he said, “Consider it pure joy whenever you suffer trials of many kinds…” He used the present tense. Don’t let the devil twist those words. I’m not saying that in the moment we have to fake happiness and joy when we are hurting, but what I am saying is that we can’t allow that pain and hurt to take Jesus’s place on the throne of our heart. That no matter how bleak the situation, we need to understand in the midst of whatever trial we are going through that Jesus Christ is still King of Kings. That Jesus Christ is still Lord of Lords. That every knee still bows at His name, and demons still flee at the name of Jesus. I can think of no better example of this than my high school friend Nick and his family.
Nick died from leukemia at 18 years old. He used his cancer as an opportunity to share the Gospel with me. And while his body was killing itself and became nothing more than flesh and bones weighing under 100lb, Nick would tell me and others that Jesus still loved Him. I remember Nick’s father at his funeral telling the story of how Nick used his last moments on earth. How Nick used his dying breath to describe a vision of Jesus coming into his room on a chariot of fire, handing him his crown of glory. And when Nick reached out to grab his crown, his soul left earth and entered eternity. But I also remember his father talking about Nick’s faith, and how he could see when his son was diagnosed with terminal cancer that he, as a father, had two paths before him. One path leading to sin and death, and one path leading him closer to Jesus. His dad talked about how he clung to Jesus while his son fought cancer. He talked about how he used his suffering to grow closer to Jesus. And because those two Godly men chose to suffer well, there were people at Nick’s funeral who gave their lives to Christ. Make no mistake. The world is watching how we suffer. Whatever our suffering may be. Whether it be a diagnosis, an unexpected career change, a relationship ending, or whatever else. The world is watching. Louie Giglio put it best. “There is no greater witness than a Christian who suffers well.” So, brothers and sisters, when we go through trials of many kinds, cling to the cross of Christ and consider it pure joy.
And I think that yes, the Lord is wanting to say Psalm 34:18 to you. To say to you, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” I also think He is wanting to say to you today that your hurt is real… That the situation is real, the loss is real, the pain is real, BUT He is a restorer. Joel 2:25 says, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” In the Hebrew, the locusts are named. They are the gnawing locusts, the locust swarm that came in like a tornado, the creeping locusts who are always there, and the consuming locusts who stripped the land. Have you had thoughts, pain, or trauma that gnaw at you, that comes in like a tornado, that won’t leave you, or that has stripped you of your joy? God is saying to you that He can repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. In the middle of Joel 2, God says, return to Me, then in verse 25 He says He will restore. Not give back the years the locusts had eaten as if they were never gone, and now they’re back. No, He is saying He will repay you what was lost. There was something lost, but that’s not the end of the story. Because when we choose Him, He will use our stories of hurt and pain for His glory.
Joel 2:25-27, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed.” That is your future. Restoration of what was lost. Whether on Earth or in Heaven.
I can’t help but think of the story of Lazarus in John 11:1-44. How Jesus said that his sickness would not end in death, and in doing so telling us that death was not the end for Lazarus, nor is it the end for us. I love how the hypostatic union- Jesus being fully God and fully man- is so clear in these moments, with the humanity of Jesus showing in His tears, and the power of God Almighty being on full display as Jesus called Lazarus to come out of the tomb from death to life. I also love how Jesus called Lazarus from death to life, like He calls us from spiritual death to spiritual life through salvation. This is a topic for another day, but make no mistake: when we are saved, we are not “bad people made good” by Christ. No, we are dead people made alive in Christ. And when Jesus called Lazarus from death to life, don’t miss how Jesus calls him. Jesus called Lazarus by name. He didn’t say, “Hey guy, come out!” He said, “LAZARUS, come out!” That is such an incredible image of the personal relationship that we have with the Creator of the heavens and the earth. Not only does He call Lazarus by name, but He also calls you by name. He sees you in your hurt. He sees you in your suffering. And He tells you to come out of whatever tomb of sin and death you are or were stuck in; He calls you to life, and He also tells you to take off the grave clothes. John 11:43-44: “The dead man came out, his hands and feet were wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’” When Lazarus came out of the tomb, he was covered in cloth that was wrapped around his body. It is estimated that it was 75-100lbs of cloth on his body. That’s a heavy burden. But I want to ask you… What grave clothes are you still wearing? What burden are you still carrying?
Maybe you have heard Jesus call you by name; you have come out of the tomb of sin and death, but you’re struggling in secret, or you’re still carrying parts of your old life that you don’t want to let go of. So what grave clothes are you still wearing? Pornography? Unforgiveness (maybe towards the mom who decided to parent)? Eating disorder, whether that’s eating too much food or discharging it from your body behind your family’s back? Addiction, whether that be cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol? What burden are you still carrying? Because make no mistake, the Lord didn’t call you out of the tomb with the idea that you’d still be wearing grave clothes. He’s also calling you to “take off the grave clothes.”
In summary, God is near to the brokenhearted; we must suffer well; God is a restorer; and we have to come out of the tomb and take off the grave clothes. I have two calls to action for you. They are to come out of the tomb and take off the grave clothes. Stop allowing whatever your circumstances are to rule over your life. Jesus called Lazarus out of the tomb of literal death, and I believe God is using this collection of journal entries to call someone or some of you out of the tomb of spiritual death. And He’s calling others to take off the grave clothes. Whether they be anxiety and depression, marital struggles, unforgiveness, addictions, pain from loss, or whatever else… come out of the tomb and take off the grave clothes.
I first wrote this in January of 2026. Little did I know what was right around the corner. In March 2026, my wife and I both matched with an expecting mom and were placed with the baby. Our adoption journey was complete and has since been finalized. We decided to keep the name her birth mom gave her. Our daughter’s name is Amari, which in Hebrew literally means “promised by God.” For us, we found that name to be rather fitting given our adoption story. But to me personally? It was the fulfillment of Psalm 34:18. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The Lord is with you. He not only sees you in your suffering, but He is near to you. If you’re going through an interrupted adoption, I know your hurt all too well. You will be skeptical when your agency or adoption consultant says, “God has your baby.” Trust me, I was very skeptical. But your story is not over. The Lord is just making yours and your child’s stories all the more powerful. Cling to Him, seek Him in the midst of your pain, and marvel at how He will use your story for His glory.
Lord, I pray for my family, and anyone else who ends up reading or hearing this. That when trials come, when an adoption is interrupted, when anxiety hits, when a lying enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, and even when death itself comes… that we will suffer well. That we would give ourselves up to God and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether He leads us by suffering or by consolation, for those two things are equal to a soul truly resigned. That we will fear no evil but instead cling to the cross of Christ. That we will not allow fear, sorrow, pain, or whatever else to take your place on the throne of our hearts. That we would remember that You will restore all things, whether You do so on Earth or in Heaven. You will restore. And Lord, may we shed the grave clothes and never look back. Amen.
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| Jack with his beautiful family |
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