Adoption Story: Mark and Jessica

It has been such an incredible joy walking with Jessica and Mark on their adoption journey. I have had front row seats as they prepared their hearts and home for adoption, faithfully loved expecting mamas, and waited expectantly for how God would grow their family. Today Jessica shares the details of how their story unfolded and sweet Isabella became their daughter...

Everyone says there will be a reason for all of the setbacks in the journey to a child. That God will give you the baby that is perfect for you, in His perfect timing. This was really hard to hear during the dark days of our journey, but we are so fortunate to experience firsthand how true it is.

After our son was born in 2018, we knew we immediately wanted to continue growing our family. After a few years of failed IVF and multiple miscarriages, we started considering adoption. Jessica had a friend from high school use Susan at Christian Adoption Consultants, and reached out to her friend to learn more. We then jumped on a call with Susan to meet her, understand the process, and ultimately decided to move forward with her as our consultant. After a few months, we were home study ready, our profile book was created, and we started applying to the recommended agencies from Susan. 

We had a new found hope for our family. We took our son out to dinner to celebrate the start of this journey and started the hardest part of the process: waiting. Waiting for our baby, waiting to be chosen by a birth mom, waiting for God to put everything in place at the exact right time. We continued to live our lives, go to work, take family vacations, and have a great time together, all the while presenting to expecting moms who did not choose us. We were shocked when, five months, later an agency reached out to us that a mom had been looking at our profile and asked if we would be interested in matching with her. We of course said yes, this was it! We matched very early, so we knew it was a long road. We visited her and her children, sent them gifts, texted with her, and prayed for her and this baby. Unfortunately, one day we found out the adoption was falling through. We were heartbroken and distraught. We leaned on Susan a lot during this time. She provided us the perspective we so needed, the emotional support to hear our fears, and the encouragement to continue. As the what would have been due date approached, we closed the nursery door and grieved. We questioned if this would work, and, more specifically, when. We often thought about giving up. Susan was there with us the entire time.

One day, almost a year from when we were first home study ready, we got THE call. A baby girl would be born within a few weeks, in a state nearby, and the expecting mom wanted to name her Isabella Marie. Marie was Jessica's, her mother's, and her grandmother's middle name. It would have been the middle name for a girl if we had been able to choose. Jessica immediately got chills and said we would absolutely present. About two hours later, the agency called us and said that we were the family chosen! The three of us were on the phone emotional about the exciting news. 

Three weeks later we found out our baby girl was born a few weeks early! We dropped everything and raced to the hospital, Jessica flying in from an out of town work trip and Mark driving over with all of the baby items and our bags! We made it to the hospital just before visiting hours were over. We were in such "go mode" the few weeks leading up to this that we hadn't had a chance to really let everything sink in. As we are led to the room with Isabella's birth mom ("Z"), the nurse told us how amazing the baby and birth mom were. We were so nervous. What do you say to the woman giving you the greatest gift, her greatest sacrifice? We hugged her, held the baby, and started talking. There were some silences, but comfortable, and nobody kicked us out when visiting hours were over. Z actually said, "If you would like to stay here with the baby, the hospital has a room and you can keep Isabella with you." We jumped at the chance to spend as much time as possible with Isabella and Z. The next day, we went and spent time with Z getting to know her. 

That evening, as we were going to bed, a nurse came into our room and said Z would like to see us and the baby. We immediately paused. We walk down the hall, bring the baby and sit with her. We had an emotional few hours not knowing if Z was changing her mind. She was holding Isabella and crying. After what felt like eternity she handed us the baby and said, "She's yours now."  What we experienced that night was nothing short of a miracle. Three parents all loving this little girl so much. We held Isabella, we held each other. It was a moment that we will never forget, and to be honest, a moment we don't think we would have had with the last situation. We are so fortunate to have met Z and that she is the birth mom of sweet Isabella. 

The following day when we were discharged, we each received a text from Z, "I love y'all. Please let Isabella know that I love her. You are the best woman and mother I know (man and father for Mark's text), and I wish you all happiness. I love Isabella with my life, and I know I made the best decision."

Throughout the infertility, the interrupted adoption, the waiting, the "not yets," we questioned God often. Why us? When will it be our turn? Why do we continue to go through the heartache? Should we just stop trying? While we could not see it at the time, we are so grateful that God was working behind the scenes to orchestrate a plan greater than one we could have ever imagined.

We are so fortunate to bring home our perfect baby, in God's perfect timing. We are blessed beyond measure for the guidance and support from Susan during the process. Now we are home with our 4-year who only wants to love on and hug his sister all day every day. 

We will forever be grateful for everyone who supported our journey, family, friends, Susan, our adoption agency, and of course, always grateful for Z. 

Adoption Story: Tad and Kristen

When Kristin and Tad first started their adoption journey with Christian Adoption Consultants early this year, it would have been hard to anticipate all God was up to, even in those very moments they decided to take a step of faith. As Kristin and Tad were saying "yes" to adoption, there was a mama states away whose life was about to change. And months later, a chance meeting at a restaurant would lead to their paths to eventually (and miraculously) cross. Kristin first shared their story on their blog, Road to Adoption and is graciously sharing in this space today. You don't want to miss this story full of unexpected encounters and double blessings.

“Sounds like you’re having a bad day.” Gayle Brady commented to the waitress, “Julie,” who served her and her husband dinner at a diner in Michigan (some names have been changed for privacy). Knowing Jim and Gayle is to know that they are very kind and loving people. So, it was not unusual for them to ask how this waitress was doing or notice that she was under immense stress. I (Kristen) had gotten to know Jim and Gayle quite well when they would come to North Carolina for the winters, and I was nannying their grandchildren. So, they had already been following our adoption journey and knew we weren’t having much luck.

“Sounds like you’re having a bad day.” Gayle Brady commented to the waitress, “Julie,” who served her and her husband dinner at a diner in Michigan. Knowing Jim and Gayle is to know that they are very kind and loving people. So, it was not unusual for them to ask how this waitress was doing or notice that she was under immense stress. I (Kristen) had gotten to know Jim and Gayle quite well when they would come to North Carolina for the winters, and I was nannying their grandchildren. So, they had already been following our adoption journey and knew we weren’t having much luck.

Julie went on to share with Gayle that she had a lot going on in her life lately; she was concerned because she recently found out her 21-year-old daughter was pregnant with twins who were due in November, and her plan was to safe-surrender the babies at the hospital after the birth. She feared the babies would end up in foster care or be split up and also shared that her daughter already had a 2-year-old she was working hard to support. Gayle mentioned that she had friends in North Carolina (us) hoping to adopt and asked Julie if her daughter had ever considered adoption. Julie was unsure if her daughter had thought of that but became very hopeful about the possibility. So, Gayle and Julie exchanged numbers.

The next day, Jim and Gayle shared this information with their son and daughter-in-law, Chris and Terri Brady, our close friends, and asked if they should share it with us. They both answered with a resounding YES. Later that night, Terri reached out to me about the possibility but encouraged me to be cautiously optimistic as there was so little information and details known at this point.

I was SO excited; however, we had already been so discouraged by the adoption process up to that point that I was afraid to get my hopes up. I reached out to Gayle the next day and asked for Julie’s phone number to contact her. When we reached out, Gayle shared a similar message of being cautious because this seemed to be a long shot and may not go anywhere. However, after much thought and discussion, she decided to step out on faith and pass along her phone number. She went on to share that she knew nothing about Julie except what she had shared at the restaurant that day but that she really liked her and felt for her and her situation.

The next day Tad and I called Julie to see if we could connect with her. She didn’t answer, so we left a message but never received a response. I then texted her the following day to see if that would generate a response. Nothing. Tad called another time that same week, but it went straight to voicemail. A couple of days passed, and we were beginning to think it wasn’t meant to be. Then, on Sunday, August 28th, we were leaving church and ran into Chris while walking out. He had asked if we had connected with Julie yet, and we told him that we couldn’t get ahold of her but would try one last time that day, and if she didn’t answer, we were going to “close the door.” As we were leaving the church parking lot on our way to the pharmacy, Tad tried calling for the last time, and SHE ANSWERED! We were both in shock and so nervous, but the conversation seemed to flow so naturally.

We talked to Julie for around 30 minutes, and she told us all about her daughter, “Kayla,” and we also shared about ourselves and our adoption journey. It was a great conversation, and we felt like we had really connected with her. We then texted her some pictures of ourselves so that she could share them with her daughter.

Side note: After later meeting Julie, Kayla, and Kayla’s dad, “Mark,” in Michigan, we learned that Julie doesn’t answer her phone for people she doesn’t know, which is why she never responded to our calls. However, that Sunday, Mark happened to be at Julie’s house and told her to pick up the phone! Had Mark not been there at that moment, she would not have answered… It’s just another part of the story that we find so amazing, and God aligned all of it.

Julie said she wasn’t sure if her daughter would go for it, but she would talk to her on Monday, show her our pictures, let her read our messages, and let us know what she says.

On Monday night, we received a message from Julie that she had let Kayla read our text messages and convinced Kayla that this would be a wonderful opportunity for us and the babies, and she felt good knowing the babies would be going to a good home. She wanted Julie to attend her ultrasound the next morning with her so she could talk to the nurses about how adoption worked.

We had already made calls to two attorneys in Michigan (one for us and one for Kayla) just to be sure we had accurate information for Julie and to be ready with the next steps if Kayla was on board– since it was private and not through an agency. We confirmed that there wouldn’t be a lot involved for Kayla, which was important to her.

On Tuesday morning, August 30th Julie sent a text: “So I must say congratulations to the new parents of twin babies! Any names picked out?”

To say that was an emotional moment would be an understatement! It was almost like a dream! Tad had been traveling for work that week, so we were trying to navigate all of this from different states. We immediately hired an attorney for Kayla, and within two days, she met with the attorney and created an adoption plan. The birth father also showed up to that appointment and signed his consent for the adoption. We couldn’t believe how quickly and smoothly things seemed to be falling into place. 

One of the most beautiful parts of this story is the connection we’ve developed with the birth mother and her family. Initially, Kayla wanted no contact with us, but it wasn’t long after she had created the adoption plan that we had been communicating regularly. Because this was a high-risk pregnancy (being twins and Emma had a 2-vessel umbilical cord), Kayla was going for ultrasounds twice a week and being monitored very closely. I remember the first time she sent me pictures of the ultrasound. It was such a surreal moment. It’s rare in any adoption to have contact with the birth mother before the babies are born, especially if you didn’t know her prior. So, it was extra special to be able to bond in this way. Kayla then started inviting us to join the ultrasounds via FaceTime. It didn’t always work out depending on the nurse that was working since they have strict rules about video and pictures. But her willingness to involve us for each appointment and continually provide updates was so amazing and brought us so much peace! When we met her in Michigan for her last ultrasound on Monday before the birth, she let me join her in person, saved all the printed ultrasound pictures from the time she found out, and gave them to me. 

Kayla and I had been in close communication for most of September and into early October, texting almost daily. She would send me pictures of her belly and videos of the babies moving around. She made me feel so involved in the pregnancy, which helped Tad and I bond with her and the babies so much! Outside of the adoption itself, it was one of the most special and selfless things anyone could do for another person.

The more Kayla and I continued to connect, the more comfortable she was with me. At one point, she told me she wanted me to be in the delivery room and cut the umbilical cords! We later found out that wouldn’t happen because she would be delivering in an operating room where she could only have one support person (her mom), but even the thought of her offering meant so much to me.

Kayla was having some difficulty around 31 weeks (September 25th) and had ended up in the hospital on three occasions and being admitted for a couple of days. At that point, every day seemed like a possible delivery day. That’s when I started packing my bags so we would be ready at a moment’s notice. As the weeks began to wind down and the ultrasounds showed that the babies were not growing much, the doctor decided that he would induce her around 34 weeks.

Tad had been traveling a lot in October, so as soon as the doctor said he would induce within the next week, we decided to drive up to Michigan. He had taken a father-daughter trip to Florida with his 13-year-old daughter, Alexandria, and on the day of his return (Wednesday, October 12th), we set out on our journey to Michigan. We arrived on Thursday, October 13th, and just happened to be driving by the hospital where Kayla would deliver at the exact time she was at her ultrasound appointment. We had hoped to attend with her, but it just didn’t work out. She let us speak with the doctor, and it was on that day that they had scheduled her induction for Tuesday, October 18th, at 7:30 pm.

We were hoping to connect with Kayla before meeting with her for the first time on delivery day, but we didn’t want to put any additional pressure on her or overwhelm her, so we let it be. However, she reached out later that evening and asked us if we would like to meet for lunch. We were very excited but also nervous! She wanted to meet us at the same restaurant that her mom worked at – the one where Jim and Gayle had first made the connection. A little later in the evening, she shared with us that her dad would also come. Of course, we let her know that we were also looking forward to meeting him!

Saturday morning came, and we prepared to head to the restaurant. As we walked in, an older gentleman saw Tad’s Buffalo Bills license plate and started a conversation about the upcoming game. Little did we know, we were talking to Kayla’s grandfather (Julie’s father), who also worked at the restaurant. As soon as we walked in, we met Julie (who was working); moments later, Kayla and her dad walked in. We were meeting most of her immediate family, haha… no pressure!

After exchanging hugs and handshakes, we all sat down. We made small talk and got to know each other for a little bit. When the food came, Tad asked if he could pray for our meal, which he did. Kristen asked Mark if he had any questions for us. He wondered what kind of church we attended, and we shared a bit more about our church. Mark shared that before COVID, he had been going to church but hadn’t been back since. When talking with Kayla, she said she always believed in God, but after everything that happened with the adoption, she believes in God much more and wants to start going back to church! Tad and I left lunch feeling excited and hopeful. It went very well, and we had even more peace about everything progressing. We were so grateful that all of Kayla’s family were very supportive of the adoption plan and even grateful that it was happening! While I can’t imagine how hard it is for them, we know that having a supportive family is paramount in adoption. We planned for another dinner on Monday night; Kayla’s “last meal” before the big day, which Julie, her mom, could attend. That also went great and helped our families connect and get to know each other better.

Arriving at the hospital on induction day!

Kayla was scheduled to be induced on Tuesday, October 18th, at 7:30 pm, which felt like the longest day ever. When we arrived at the hospital, Julie, Kayla, and her best friend “Shannon” greeted us at the main entrance. Julie was kind enough to bring us a gift basket full of baby items. We all made our way to the room where Kayla would be and began to set up “camp.” Kayla was comfortable having Tad and me in the room with her for most of the night until things started to progress, which is when Tad stepped out into the waiting room. We would spend the next 22 hours in Room 2 of the Labor and Delivery wing. It was probably one of the coolest and most unique moments of any adoption story!

October 19th, 2022, was the day our lives changed forever. While it was a long night that extended into the following day, we knew things had to be getting closer. By 3pm on Wednesday, October 19th, contractions started to become stronger and closer together, but dilation was slow, so we anticipated being in for another long night. At about 4 pm, Julie and Shannon had stepped outside, and Kayla and I were in the room together. I loved that she wanted me to be there and didn’t want to be alone. Thank God I was! Just minutes later, Kayla was in distress and felt like she had to push. I immediately called Julie and Shannon to get back to the room and tried to support Kayla the best that I could by encouraging her not to push, holding her hand, and rubbing her head. What an emotional and special moment that was for me. I knew it was time! We went from 22 hours of almost nothing happening to “these babies are coming…NOW!” Once Julie and Shannon arrived back to the room, we all searched for a nurse and a doctor, and there was no one to be found. It became apparent that Shannon, Julie, and I may have to deliver these babies! What a crazy moment that was for all of us. Eventually, the nurse showed up, and she and Julie wheeled Kayla down to the OR. (The plan was a natural birth, but delivery in the OR was scheduled just in case they needed to do an emergency C-section.)

As they wheeled Kayla to the OR, I ran into the waiting room hysterically to let Tad know what was happening. He said I was more upset than he’s ever seen me. The unknown was so terrifying, and I also knew I was about to meet the babies I had been dreaming and praying about, so I completely lost it. We waited for what seemed like forever, but it was only a matter of minutes. Then, my phone pinged, and it was a text from Julie with a picture of Emma followed by a message that she was doing great and a video of the birth! We both sat sobbing in the waiting room while we watched. Then, 5 minutes later, my phone pinged again with a picture of Jaxson and a video of his birth! It was so amazing that Julie would think to do that for us while supporting her daughter during such a difficult time. It was so special; we hope she knows just how much that meant to us. The time from 4:45 pm – 5:45 pm seems like such a blur, but it was the moment our lives changed forever.

Emma Grace was born at 5:30 pm on October 19th, 2022, weighing 3 lbs 11 oz and 17″ long, and Jaxson Taylor was born at 5:35 pm on October 19th, 2022, weighing 4 lbs 5 oz and 17.5 inches long.

Emma left, Jaxson right

30 minutes after the babies were born, we visited Kayla before going to the NICU to hug her and thank her for what she did for us. She was beaming! You would have never known she had just given birth to twins. We captured a special picture of the 5 of us, which will forever be a beautiful reminder of this amazing story!

30 minutes after the babies were born, we visited Kayla before going to the NICU to hug her and thank her for what she did for us. She was beaming! You would have never known she had just given birth to twins. We captured a special picture of the 5 of us, which will forever be a beautiful reminder of this amazing story!

Picture shared with permission 

Since the babies were born, we’ve continued to stay in touch with Kayla and support her in whatever ways she needs. We even attended church together a few days after the babies were born. We care about her so much and are incredibly grateful for her brave and selfless decision to choose life and adoption for her precious babies. We will forever be connected because of them, and she will forever be such a special part of our lives.

Currently, Emma and Jaxson are in the NICU and doing well. They are still tiny, but they are learning and growing daily! We are so in love with them and eagerly await the day we can bring them home!

We don’t believe there are any coincidences in life. God knew that Kayla would be carrying twins conceived the very time we began our adoption journey. He knew that we would struggle with infertility and pursue adoption. He knew that the timing of her pregnancy and our adoption journey would align perfectly. He knew that Jim and Gayle would celebrate their anniversary at that restaurant on the night that Julie would be working. He knew that Julie was going to have a hard night and need a friendly face to share her struggles with. He knew that Kayla wanted what was best for her babies and would ultimately choose adoption for them and us to be Emma and Jaxson’s parents. Nothing is a surprise to God. He wrote this story before the beginning of time, and we give all the glory to Him!

Adoption Story: Derek and Madi

You know that feeling you get right before God is going to do something amazing? You can't pinpoint it, but there's an anticipation, knowing something is coming. The first time I talked to Derek and Madi, I felt a little like holding my breath, expecting God to show up in their story in big ways. None of us knew exactly how, or when, or how big. But it turns out God exceeded everyone's expectations. Today Madi graciously shares the story of how God miraculously grew their family grew from four to five.

A wise, dear friend consistently counseled Madi through the nine months of our adoption journey by reminding her, "God is writing a better story than you can write yourself." While we believed her (or at least wanted to believe her), we can't believe how true that adage turned out to be. 

Adoption was always part of our family plan, but after having two precious biological children in less than two years, we put our plans on hold. However, on our daughter's third birthday, we felt the Lord call us back to what He had laid on our heart years prior, and we immediately began to pursue growing our family through adoption. After being home study approved, we signed with a lovely agency we found through a close friend. Before we knew it, months ticked by without feeling any closer to bring our child home. We had a restless feeling that we should cast a larger net, and after some prayerful consideration, we took to Google to research our options. We found Christian Adoption Consultants, and scheduled a call with Susan. We immediately found everything we were looking for with her. She not only fast-tracked us on our goal of becoming active at more agencies, but provided invaluable counsel and friendship through the entire process. She was always only a phone call away, and we always felt the gift of being able to be completely vulnerable and honest with her. In the couple months that followed, we had many twists and turns, disappointing "almosts" and "not yets" that were all met by prayer and encouragement from Susan. Looking back, we can see so clearly that God was using every difficult "no" for our good because He loves us. 

Two months later, one summer afternoon as we were packing the car for our annual family vacation to the beach in another state, we got an unexpected phone call that we had been chosen as the forever family for a darling baby girl that had been born hours prior. We live on the east coast and up until this point, every case we had gotten from this particular agency had been on the west coast, so we cheerfully asked where we were going. When the case worker responded that this child had been born in the state where we were already packing the car to travel to the beach, we were floored. But God wasn't done. Shortly thereafter we found out our baby was born not only in the state we were already traveling to (and had rented a house and were meeting family and friends, which meant a plan already in place for our other children, a gift all in itself), but in the city in that state where we used to live and where our first child was born. So despite living eight hours away now, our beautiful baby girl was born on the SAME FLOOR of the SAME HOSPITAL as our oldest son. We prayed for so long that when a situation was right, we would have clarity, and we'll never get over the way God showed up in that big way and continued to show up throughout the process. He was in every single detail, and despite this big, obvious miracle, there were so many other God-winks in our journey. From bringing her home weeks early unexpectedly from the NICU on our wedding anniversary to the gift we didn't know we needed of friends and familiarity despite being in a different state since we had lived in that city prior, to the uncanny way she even closely resembles our biological children, it was clear our daughter was hand-picked from the Lord for our family. 

We are now home with our precious girl, and feel deeply grateful for all the ways God showed up through our adoption journey. We have seen time and time again how God uses adoption to point us to Him as His own adopted sons and daughters. We learned to lean on Him in complete trust and reliance in ways we have never otherwise experienced. We learned how to jump into situations we may otherwise fear because we have no reason to fear; not because it isn't scary, but because He truly does go before us. We saw His mighty hand in every single detail. Most of all, we saw that God is still in the business of actual miracles, and we'll never get over how obvious of a miracle our daughter and our family story is; pointing us straight to goodness, mercy, and grace that comes only from above. We will never stop singing His praises for all he has done, and the faithful people, like Susan, he used in the process. 

Adoption Story: Alex and Emily

Alex and Emily began their adoption journey the winter of 2020. While it was easy to assume their adoption process would be smooth, little did they know a global pandemic was about to rock the world. In the last two years, Alex and Emily learned new ways to embrace patience and trust God's timing for their family. Today Emily shares the story of how they welcomed their son into their family!

Our journey to adopting our sweet little guy is nothing short of a miracle and leaning into God's timing (which is never our own!). We began the adoption process in the Winter of 2020 and went active with an agency March 2, 2020. Yep. You read that right...just 11 days shy of the world turning upside down! Even in the midst of uncertainty, we held onto hope that the Lord would sustain us through this process. We were shocked to match just a few short weeks later, but were heartbroken when the due date approached a few months later and it turned out to be a scam. After almost another year of waiting we matched again with a young couple and walked through the pregnancy with them offering encouragement, support, and prayers along the way. Ultimately, right before the baby was born they decided to parent and while we were heartbroken, we continued to pray for the Lord to strengthen their little family throughout the baby's life. 

We began to feel like adoption would maybe never happen for us, but clung onto our family's verse; Jeremiah 29:11-13: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  We strive to remember the Lord’s promises for our family and to seek Him throughout every rise and fall of the adoption process.

At this point in our adoption journey, just shy of two years in with two failed matches, we decided to try an alternate route and looked into an adoption consultant. We interviewed a few agencies and were thrilled to meet Susan with Christian Adoption Consultants. She answered every question we had, listened to our fears and hopes from our previous experience, and explained all the ways a consultant can help to "cast our net wider." She also helped us create the most perfect adoption profile book that truly captured who our family is, and that ultimately aided in connecting us with our son's birth mom!

In December of 2021, in a local foster/adoptive mom Facebook group, a fellow adoptive mom posted about how her daughter's birth mom was pregnant again and looking for an adoptive family. Following a nudge from the Lord, we reached out and eventually connected with our son's birth mom. We emailed and texted for two months getting to know each other and before any lawyers or adoption anything began to shape up, we were surprised to get a call that the baby was born in an emergency situation seven weeks early! We dropped everything and headed down to Tennessee to be with her and our little guy. He was born at just 2 pounds 2 ounces and stayed in the NICU for a month growing stronger. After a whirlwind of a month away from home and our older son driving down with our parents to visit, it was the best feeling in the world to drive the ten hours back to Virginia with both boys in the car!

When we began the adoption process we naively thought we would be the story of the family who matched quickly and brought a baby home within a few short months! But what it didn't leave room for in that "picture perfect plan" was all the ways the Lord was going to continue to push us out of our comfort zone, leading us to become a foster family, grow in compassion for others, serve our community, and wrestle with patience when there seemed to be a lack of forward motion. Our son's adoption paperwork was filed on March 2, 2022, exactly two years after we began our adoption journey. Had we given up, we never would have brought our beautiful son home. We look forward to raising our son to know the Lord, be an important member of our family and his biological siblings and family, and to serve all in love. He will do mighty things this side of eternity - we just know it!

Adoption Story: Jared and Abbie {Part 2}

Earlier this week, Jarred and Abbie, began to share the story of welcoming their son into their family (as  Abbie blogged over at Naturalee Homestead throughout the process). Check out Part One here. Today Abbie is sharing excepts from the second half of their adoption journey with Christian Adoption Consultants. I especially love how honestly she shares the emotional roller coaster the hospital experience can bring, the bittersweetness of adoption, and the incredible love they have for their son's birth mother.

March 25, 2022, Archer's Birth Story 

Saturday morning, March 12th, Jarred and I got in the car and started our ten and a half hour drive to Utah. I was so excited and yet had the pit in my stomach of “what if.” What if we get there and the agency calls and says she changes her mind. What if we meet her at dinner and she doesn’t like us? What if we meet the baby and she changes her mind at the last minute. How would I handle it?

The whole drive there we just kept talking about how excited we were and nervous. We talked about his name and that we were pretty sure that was the right one. We talked about logistics, sang a lot of 90s country songs, and were over joyed when we realized speed limits through Idaho were 80 mph!

Headed to Utah!

We got to our hotel around 8:30pm and were checked in by the kindest woman. Sunday we slept in and decided to have a slow morning. We made coffee and breakfast and talked excitedly about dinner scheduled for that night, where we would be meeting Archers birth mom, Mama J for the first time. We were excited and nervous. Wanting her to like us, and hoping that we would just click.

The fifteen minute car ride to dinner I kept telling Jarred, I feel like I’m going to puke, I was so nervous! Mama J walked through the door of the restaurant and I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes. It was so nice to finally meet the woman who we had been praying for, and who had chosen us to be the parents of her child.

We were able to connect and multiple times she said how sure she was of choosing us, and that she was so thankful for us. We discussed her wishes for openness moving forward and our wishes for her to be a part of his life. We left feeling so at peace, so thankful and also so heartbroken for her. Adoption is such a roller coaster of a ride. Highest of highs and lowest of lows. 

The next morning, March 14th, Mama J went in to be induced. Around 1:00pm we got a text that she was 4cm dilated. We were headed to grab lunch at about 2:00 when we got a text she was fully dilated and doctor was on his way! We were so excited and ran back to our hotel to eat. About 2:45pm we got a call that he was born at 2:29pm, 6lbs 13oz and 19 inches long! We quickly got a text with a couple pictures and he was absolutely perfect! She said they would let us know when Mama J was ready for us to come.

The first picture we saw of our sweet boy.

We sat at the hotel giddy with anticipation! We packed and repacked bags hoping the hospital would allow us to spend the first night with him there. At about 3:30pm, we got a text that Mama J had decided she would like to spend the day and night with him and for us to come the next day instead. Our hearts shattered when we read those words. I burst into tears that this baby was so close and yet untouchable.

We cried together, not only because we couldn’t see him, but what does this mean? We knew it was good for her to spend time with him before she says goodbye. And yet the idea that she might change her mind and we may never get to meet him was looming over us. We turned on worship music and spent the next two hours crying and praying. I kept telling myself that she gets 24 hours, and we would get the rest of his life, and she deserves to spend the time she wants with him. After we sat with the news we sent a text to Mama J, telling her that we were happy she was getting time with him and that we couldn’t wait to meet him tomorrow. We went to bed early feeling helpless, emotional, and hoping that tomorrow would be better news.

After the worst night of sleep ever, waking every couple hours and just praying for what was to come, we woke up and got a text that we were to be at the hospital at 11am! At 10:40am we got in the car and made our way to the postpartum unit. We were buzzed in and asked to wait in a room labeled bonding. After a couple minutes Mama J’s caseworker came in and said Mama J had decided not to be there when we met the baby and for us to go in together. Right then Mama J came in and said hi to us. We gave her the biggest hug and told her how beautiful he was and how thankful we are for her. We gave her some flowers and hugged her again. As she went back to her room she said to us “You have a cute boy in there!” and we were walked to the nursery to meet our son for the first time!

Tuesday, March 15th at 11am, almost 24 hours after Archer had been born, we walked into the nursery to meet our son. We were greeted by the sweetest nurse, Jocelyn, who gave us a hug and said how excited she was for us! I immediately began to cry overcome with emotion. So much back and forth, so much heartache and longing, it was finally here. The day I had quite literally been waiting my entire life for. To meet our son!

We were taken into a small room and after a couple minutes they wheeled in the tiniest, sweetest boy. I picked him up from his bed and instantly knew this was the baby God had chosen for us. The most perfect, beautiful baby. This baby was the reason for all those negative pregnancy tests, for all the “not yets” from expectant moms. It was all because this was the boy, hand picked out for us.

Our first family picture.

We cried as we held and looked at our sweet baby. I felt the most peace I had felt since we left for Utah. Which can only be explained by God’s grace and perfect peace. We still had 3 and a half hours until mama J would sign papers, officially relinquishing her legal parental rights. The earliest she could sign documents is 24 hours after birth per Utah state law. Once she signed, it would be permanent and irrevocable.

When I thought of what this time in waiting would be like, I imagined I would be filled with fear and doubt. But I sat and held this perfect baby in total peace. We spent the next few hours with him until it was time for consents to be signed. My heart broke for Mama J. Knowing what she was about to do, and what she was about to give up— raising this precious boy.

We prayed for Mama J to have strength and feel peace in her decision. After about 30 minutes the consents were signed and she was quite upset. I got up and gave her a hug. I told her that I promised we would take the best care of him and that we already loved him so much! That we were so proud of her and promised we would send photos and updates. We told her she was amazing, and that we would make sure he knew how incredible she was. Jarred and I had talked about it, and felt that it was important she know her son’s full name, including his last name. Most agencies keep last names from both the adoptive and birth family. We told her that we wanted her to know our last name and that we truly hope she is a big part of our lives. She thanked us over and over for telling her, and said how thankful she was for us and that she went with her gut when she chose us.

We walked her out to the car and gave her another hug goodbye promising to keep her updated. We went back up to be with our son and all day (all week really) had tears in our eyes for his birth mama, who was grieving her baby while we sat holding him, finally having everything we ever wanted. That bittersweet feeling is something I will never forget.

Archer is doing amazing! We spend our days snuggled up bonding skin to skin. He had a special visitor on his one week birthday, his birth mom! She came and snuggled him and got to see his beautiful face in person after seeing the many pictures I sent. She told me again how much it meant to her for us to allow her to come visit and to have shared our last name. She said while it’s been hard she is doing well and is so thankful she chose us and that he has us. She said she knows she did the right thing for him.

We love Mama J, we love open adoption, and we hope that our relationship with her will only grow stronger. We are so in awe of how perfectly this entire journey was orchestrated by God. From the beginning we had been praying for a birth mama who was kind, strong, loving and someone we could really bond with, trust and love. And boy did God deliver! We are so thankful, so in love, and so ready to get home and introduce him to family and friends!

We are the luckiest parents and we think it’s pretty cool that Archer has us and his birth mom loving him fiercely.