Monday, July 23, 2012

the book i read every day

I admit it hasn't always been this way. I promised that this blog would be honest and I'm about to be super transparent.

I didn't always read my Bible like I "should." I don't even really know what that means. But I'm a rule-follower and I love checklists.  Like I make checklists just so I can check things off. So reading the Bible often became a rule-following, check-it-off-my-to-do-list, self-righteous, religious-ritual thing. Rather than a spending time with my Maker thing.

The Bible became this to me when my life literally hit the fan a while ago. My time with Jesus soaking up His truth became the only thing that made sense. The only thing in my life that offered any kind of peace.  And now I read my Bible just about every day. It's become like food to me. Sustaining. Life-giving. 


And so, every night I find a cozy space. Usually curled up with a blanket on my couch or on my back porch with little globe lights above me. And always with a mug of coffee in one hand and a pen in the other.  Ready to underline and circle and remind myself of these truths. It's my attempt to etch them into my soul.

Because the reality of my life (and probably of being human) is that I forget. I forget the truth that the gospel (literally the good news) brings. Because the worst news is that I'm more messed up that I'll admit.  And the most amazing news is that I'm loved more than I'll ever imagine.  I forget who I am. More importantly I forget who HE is. I forget that He is good and faithful and loving and sovereign and enough.

Life pulls at me at every direction and tells me lies. That things will work if I'm in control. That I need something; a relationship, a career, a parenting technique, a [fill in the blank] to be fulfilled. Now I notice when I don't read truth every day. Not because it's not checked off.  Because my heart isn't in check.  

That's why I read this book every day. Because I forget who He is and need to be reminded who I am.

1 comment:

  1. Amen and amen. I am amazed at how suffering effects the human heart. And I am ofter after the fact, grateful that it shapes me deeply. :) Causes dependance where there once was independence.

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