On my continued quest for quality adoption books for adoptive families, today my client turned dear friend Brandy will be sharing a few she recently found for her daughter. You can read more of their journey to their daughter here and check her and her friends as they blog over at Cherokee Chix. In the meantime, check out a few of the books their family has been reading...
I have discovered a couple of things as our family dove into
the world of adoption. One, it isn't
nearly as easy or even glamorous as it looks on the back side. And two, just like every woman has her own
birth stories, every family that adopts has a unique adoption story. The path through adoption is varied and
emotional.
As I have searched for children's books on adoption, these
points have become even more clear. A
children's book often encapsulates thoughts and stories in a very succinct and
heartfelt manner. You can see this in
the following books...
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis, Illustrated by Lauren Cornell
Age Recommendation: 2+
Theme: A story about adoption and the importance of a loving family.
Synopsis: This book is told from the perspective of a roughly 6 year
old girl who was adopted at birth. She
asks her parents to retell her the stories from the night she was born - the
phone call saying she was born, the flight to go meet her, descriptions of what
she looked like and how perfect she was, the first time she took a bottle from
her adoptive parents, when they brought her home, etc.
All in all, this is a capture of a very true
to life moment when your child comes to you and asks to be told how wonderful
and special their appearance in the family is. I love that aspect of this book. I love how this book tells the details and moments
of a special time. It shows how children
can create their sense of identity and worth.
However, there were a couple of things about the book that
caught me as well. One, like I mentioned
above, this book is specific to a domestic, at-birth adoption, involving a
family struggling with infertility and even specifically a young birthmom who
wasn't able to care for her child. This
is definitely a real and possibly common scenario of adoption, but it is also
definitely not the only scenario.
My second "hmmmm" thought about this book is that
there are aspects and phrases that would be a bit graphic for me to use with my
child. The copy of the book I read is a
toddler board book, and so I took my age appropriateness cues from that. However, it mentions mom and dad in bed
together "curled up like spoons" and there is a drawing in the book
that could lend itself to fun anatomy questions. (Note: My husband read this review before reading the book, and expected
something worse on this count. It may not
be as bad as my first impression!) This book, in my opinion, would be great for
under 2's or over 6's - at an age where it doesn't all connect or an age where
real conversation and explanations are more appropriate. That being said, it is a good adoption book. There are phrases that capture the moments of
meeting your child very well. The
overall feel of the book is sweet and fun and identity shaping.
Age Recommendation: 2+
Theme: The story of one baby’s journey from her birth parents in China, who dream of a better life for their daughter, to her adoptive parents on the other side of the world, who dream of the life they can give her.
Synopsis: Different from the book above, this book deals with
international adoption, specifically from China. The pictures are beautifully painted. It speaks of a Chinese family having a baby
girl and not having the resources to properly care for her but wanting desperately
for her to have a good life. Out of that
knowledge, the birth parents knew that it would be best for the little girl to
be adopted into another family. It
speaks of the adoptive mom and dad waiting and hoping and watching and
preparing for the day their baby would come to them. It shares about the beautiful beginnings of
the new family once the precious little girl finds her way to her adoptive
parents.
All the way around, this book is beautiful. It is written in a honest and kind
manner. Both the birth family and the
adoptive family are depicted with honor and love. Love and concern for the child are the
primary motivators for both families. I
love that! For any family that has
adopted internationally, this could be a fabulous family book!
My only other thoughts concerning this book are these: I love that the dad is included in both the
adoptive and birth family. Dads can
often times be left out in family stories of any kind, and I love that that
role is included positively in both families. Being a Chinese international adoption story, the book does have a bit
of an Oriental feel to it. That is
awesome for families with that storyline, but may need to be explained to other
children more thoroughly. And along
those same lines, the actual process of international adoption is framed within
sweet, mystical language. Where the
first book is almost too fact oriented, this one can almost gloss over the
process of adoption and make it feel like it requires less than it does.
Both books are excellent in their own ways, telling about
adoption in loving and real ways. And
like I said at the beginning, there are so many different routes and stories to
creating a family through adoption. One
is not better than another, but knowing up front which way the book will go can
be helpful for both the child and the parents.
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