Tuesday, August 11, 2015

adoption story: jim and lisa

Jim and Lisa's story to grow their family has been marked with patience and waiting. Waiting to find each other, waiting to become pregnant, and finally waiting for their adoption. 



Before we were engaged, my now husband Jim and I worked through a book called “101 Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged” by H. Norman Wright. It went through pretty much every question you can imagine. One of the questions centered around children. It asked if we were open to children in our marriage and whether we would be open to adoption. I remember both of us agreeing that we wanted as many children as God would allow. I was already in my mid-30’s so we thought realistically that number would likely be two or three children. When it came to adoption we agreed that if we could not have biological children, this would be something we would be open to. It was a quick and easy conversation. We never imagined in that conversation what was to come and how God would work in our lives.

It became apparent shortly after we got married that getting pregnant was not going to be as easy as we thought. For two years, we worked with our doctors to maximize our fertility using supplements and natural family planning. After those two years of trying, we realized that becoming pregnant would be near impossible for us. As we were going through our infertility journey, in the thick of things, it was hard to imagine God having other plans. But slowly, very slowly, our hearts turned more and more to adoption.

Once we decided to start the process, we realized how overwhelming it was. We didn’t really know which way to turn when it came to adoption...We had heard that it would take up to two years to be matched with an expectant mom through domestic adoption. However, we knew that being older, time was not on our side, so we looked for ways to shorten that wait. We soon discovered Christian Adoption Consultants.

Jim and Lisa started working with me in September and by December were home study ready. Less than four months later, they were matched with an expectant mother due this summer.

We have chosen to have an open adoption with the expectant mom. This means that we have gotten to know her (we have even flown to Florida to meet her). We talk and text all the time and will continue to send pictures, letters and talk and text after placement. We hope that we can even continue the visits to Florida as often as we can. We want our child to know their biological parents and know their full story. Research has shown that both the expectant mom and the baby are more well adjusted after placement because of open adoption. We care about the expectant mom and consider her a part of our family.

Then, one day in July, they got the call that would change their lives forever. Their expectant mother was in labor. It took Jim and Lisa, who had been waiting years for this moment, exactly four hours to be packed and on a plane to meet their son.

I am forever grateful to Nathan's birth mom. She wanted us in the delivery room and we were so happy we made it in time for the birth. Watching our son be born is an experience I will never forget. Our birth mom, in the midst of all the pain she was in, made sure to remind us to go over to the isolette to meet our son. She wanted me to cut the cord and I got to do that as well. She also gave me the second hospital band so I was allowed to go back to the nursery and watch the nurses weigh him and wash him. The biggest moment that will forever be seared in my memory is looking back at our birth mom and she was crying but I could tell they were good tears. I mouthed the words "thank you" to her and she just smiled and nodded. She told me later seeing our faces when we saw him cemented her decision in her mind.

What my husband and I have learned throughout this process is that patience and trust are necessary when it comes to adoption. We had to trust that the timing would be perfect for us. Looking into his little face all the pain and heartache of infertility washed away and God's plan suddenly made perfect sense. In the midst of the pain and brokenness of adoption, God chose us as our son's parents and gave us the gift of our son. 

We are so excited at what the future will be for our family and we know now that adoption has always been the right choice for our family.

A sweet congrats to this family of three. And to two parents who knew the wait would be worth it.




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