"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
So many times during our journey I read this verse. Sometimes it was with deep hurt wanting to know why this was happening to us, why didn’t we deserve to be parents. I would pray that if we weren’t meant to be a parents then to take the desire away from my heart. The desire never left and adoption gave us new hope for our future. We are finally a family of three.
We wanted to have a child, but after six fruitless years of trying and several gristmill years of infertility treatments (drugs, inseminations, in vitro). We buried the monthly hope that our bodies would bring forth children and we accepted the fact that we are infertile. Biology had been quietly put to rest, but the desire to become parents did not. We always saw having a family as the next great adventure. So, we turned toward adoption, and as our hearts and spirits began to thaw, adoption filled us with new hope, a sense of possibility we thought still frozen and extinct. We were looked forward to being Mommy and Daddy soon.
We started researching adoption two years ago. This was very overwhelming, there are so many options and we had no idea where to begin. From domestic, international, private, all the different agencies large/small, and the cost of it all was significantly more that we had anticipated. We prayed about it and something just didn’t feel like it was time for us, and my heart really wanted to give my husband a child. We choose to try to fertility treatments one more time which lead to a long a grueling year. We were not only emotionally and financially drained, my body was tired. I struggled with this decision of moving on to adoption much more than Jeff did. I thought I was letting him down not being able to give my husband what a wife was supposed to unable to bare his children. After lots of prayer and Jeff reassuring me that God had a plan, we knew we were done and God was telling us it was time to look back into adoption. We continued to pray about our journey and possibilities of adoption.
During this time I came across this blog of Susan’s with Christian Adoption Consultants which I followed and fell in love. This gave us new hope an encouragement. I found myself looking at it all the time and reading every post with how she helped everyone through God and adoption. I knew we had to set up a meeting with her.
We signed with CAC right after Thanksgiving, with the holidays we were home study approved end of February, and start applying to agencies, becoming agency approved in March, and then the situations started coming our way. As we would read the situation and pray over each one deciding if it was the one for us. We were presented 10+ times (I tried not to keep track). It was more of an emotional roller coaster than we had anticipated. With the several “no’s” we heard, we couldn't help by wonder what was wrong with us, why we were not being chosen. Finally were matched July 6. The road to our baby was bumpy and mess with lots of unknowns, but the moment we saw him we melted and finally had a sense of peace and reassurance of God's plan for us.
As we are in the Holiday season, I know several people around us still waiting; struggling with infertility, and loss. I ask everyone to do something for that person around them (no matter how small). It will mean so much to them just knowing you are praying and thinking of them during their wait or time of feeling loss. Those of you still waiting: never give up hope, the reward will be so worth the wait!
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
Professional pictures by Kenny Felt Photography
Personalized hat by Knots LLC
Personalized blanket by Highway 3