I'm starting to live life a little more publicly Blogging and consulting will do that to you. This is to my introverted extended family's horror and my children's future chagrin.
A common phrase around here is "That's not tweetable!" It's kind of like calling "base" when playing tag and claiming safety. Trust me, many things happen in our home that are untweetable but soooooo funny. (Those are called boundaries my friends. Although we all know from social media not everyone appreciates them in the same way...)
So there's this constant tension in our home. How do we share what's going on in a way that protects healthy boundaries and also share transparently what God is doing in our lives? And there's tension in my heart too. My pride gets in the way. My clients read this, I think. People who don't know our whole story will make judgments. They'll think I don't have it all together...
The other day I read this:
I have told the glad news of deliverance
in the great congregation;
behold, I have not restrained my lips, as
you know, O Lord.
I have not hidden your deliverance within
my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and
your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love
and
your faithfulness from the great
congregation.
Psalm 40:9-10
And then God drops this one on me too:
We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his
might,
and all the wonders he has done.
He established a testimony...that the next
generation might know them,
the children yet unborn, and arise to tell
them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the words of God,
but keep his commandments.
Psalm 78:4-8
Well shoot. I was planning on keeping the latest "stuff" happening in our lives under the healthy boundaries category and move on. But those who know me could tell things were off. When you press into Jesus for simple things like continuing to breathe and live and shower I guess it shows... And really, if we don't share our stuff, no one will appreciate the crazy miracles happening right now in our family. In our hearts. In our living room. It's good stuff.
Yes, other professionals and clients read my blog. Sure, people will judge me. And of course I don't have it all together. But these words from the Psalms change my perspective on what's important. God's image always wins over mine. (At least, that's the truth I need to train my heart in.)
Yes, other professionals and clients read my blog. Sure, people will judge me. And of course I don't have it all together. But these words from the Psalms change my perspective on what's important. God's image always wins over mine. (At least, that's the truth I need to train my heart in.)
So here's an update from the past 5 weeks of our lives. Maybe someday I'll unpack it a little more. There are so many things to share about God moving and working. Changing hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. Continuing to rid us of ourselves and fill us up with more of Him.
But for now, here's
the abridged version:
Jamy left again. That was hard.
God came close. That was good.
We both worked on stuff. That was
intense.
Jamy came home. That was a miracle.
And now we have continued work to do.
As I look at this list, I realize how
hugely abridged it really is. There are a ton of stories of God's goodness,
rescue, and faithfulness. And I know I'll begin to tell them...someday...
When I
started blogging only a few short months ago, my very
first post was about why I'm
actually doing this (blogging
that is). And my last statement was this:
Because I’m really doing it for me and my family. To preserve
memories. To remember the things that are really important. To
preach the gospel to myself and actually write it out so I can hear it not just
in my head but in my heart. So I can track the grace-filled mess God is
creating right now. In my life.
So
continuing to tell our story, sharing our junk, and living transparently is our
feeble attempt at telling the
glorious deeds of the Lord. We will speak of His deliverance and salvation. We won't constrain
our lips.
We will tell the congregation of his
steadfast love and faithfulness. Because this is all that matters.
Susan, we pray for you and your family. We love all of you so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks Aunt K :)
DeleteSusan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for opening up and sharing your story. You put aside your fear of being judged, and opened up your heart which is hard to do. Marriage is tough, and too often blogs only show the "good stuff" from the reel I call life. Thank you for being genuine. For being honest. For being brave in sharing the good AND the bad while still respecting privacy. I know your words will touch people who have been searching for comfort.
Hugs and prayers,
Shelley
Am I telling you enough how loved and beloved you are? If not, I'm willing to step up my game and lean into the stalking territory to share with you, time and time again, how beautiful you are. - Jess
ReplyDeleteNo. But only because I don't see your face nearly enough!
DeleteBeautiful my friend. Telling the story is powerful. Both in the middle of it and afterwards. You guys are such a testimony- love!
ReplyDeleteKeeping running toward The Prize - Oh! the beauty of the story of Christ and His Bride told through you & Jamey. Hugs to you from afar.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being so real Susan! That is what drew us to you from the beginning. Your words of truth are encouraging that life is just tough sometimes. Praying for your family. God is good!
ReplyDelete'We are more than conquerors!" The Enemy will not prevail...loving you and your family and praying for emotional, spiritual, and physical strength from the One who loves you most. Hugs, Sherri
ReplyDelete