Wednesday, March 21, 2018

If I Could Say One Thing...About the Wait in Adoption

For awhile now we've been in the series, "If I could say one thing..." where adoptive families are sharing their real and raw insights about the adoption process. Today we're talking about the wait in adoption. Once the paperwork is filled out, the home study is complete, the profile designed, a hopeful adoptive family will wait for a match with an expectant mother. While this is a part of the process almost every family walks through, it can be one of the hardest. Not being able to see how God is working, what He's preparing, and how the story will end (or begin!) can be agonizing. Here's some thoughts and encouragement from mamas who have been there...

Don’t let it postpone anything you want to plan. I caught myself in the beginning saying I can’t do this or that because we might have a baby. Now planning things help me make it through the wait.  - Elizabeth

Have fun! Enjoy your time with your spouse/family and friends- do things you won’t be able to once you have a baby! I was so nervous to plan a trip when we were waiting, we finally went away for the weekend and our son was born 3 hours from where we were staying! Just believe in Gods plan!  - Mary

Trust God and His timing, because I can PROMISE you He is faithful! And if the wait is during your match and waiting for baby to be born (we had a 3 month wait)- focus on expectant mama as much as possible! I sent weekly encouragement cards to our birth mama, and she told us “I’ve never been loved by anyone the way you love me. You have no idea how much that means to me. Your cards and encouragement and love and focus on ME and what -I- needed is what solidified things in my heart and mind. I knew if you could love me so well, you would love baby girl the way I want her to be loved, too.” Focus on expectant mama as much as possible/as much as you think they would be comfortable with.  - Andrea

Don’t compare your journey to others. The timing of each specific adoption and length of wait is so different. Everything will play out exactly how it is meant to.  - Kaylin

For us the wait was on the side of “should we adopt, can we adopt, how will we adopt, is it the right time to adopt????” We spent years talking, dreaming, and justifying if we were meant to adopt. Once we quitted our hearts and the mad rush of the world around us. The only answer was a resounding “YES” adopt! Once we were in alignment with the word and the Fathers voice the wait turned into action. Waiting once we started the process never looked like sitting and doing nothing. The days we filled with anticipation, faith, prayers, love and building relationships we never would have had without adoption. No two stories will be the same and that is the beauty of it all! When you embark on a journey of “yes’s” assurance can only be found in the ONE who first called you to it! Without Him would we even have the heart to love? The word tells use that He first loved us! That four letter word LOVE is what brought us to this very place.  - Kendra

Pray and take this time to let the Lord prepare you for the next journey. Find redemption in the wait. Don’t forget to enjoy each day and each moment. It’s so easy to get swept up in it all, you forget to think about anything else. Try not to compare your story to others. For the Lord knows the plans He has for you. Trust in Him!  - Kacie

Pray pray pray! For the EM you will be matched with and your future baby. Spend time with your spouse and do fun things that you won’t get to do when baby comes. Don’t compare your journey/wait time to others, instead believe in God’s plan for your family and his perfect timing. Listen to His voice as He speaks to your heart.  - Amanda

The wait is what you make of it. I learned this the hard way. I started off our wait dwelling and be discouraged. Towards the end, I focused on our nursery, spending time with my spouse and family, and taking "me" time...basically doing things that I took for granted at the time, but I knew would be more of a challenge once we had a little one.  - Leah

Trust in God with all of your heart. It is difficult to not feel discouraged from time to time, but never let it be your focal point. Keep positive and know that God's timing is perfect. Pray. Trust. Believe. When He doesn't move the mountains you want him to, when he doesn't part the waters so you can walk through, always always always...TRUST! God doesn't promise life will be easy, but having a good positive attitude and trust makes the journey that much easier, even in the toughest times. Surround yourself with positive encouragement.  - Angela

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