Wednesday, October 29, 2014

on brokenness and slowing down

I broke my foot way back in August.


I wish I had an amazing story of athleticism (I was mountain climbing and fell down a crevasse) or heroism (I pushed an elderly lady out of the way of oncoming traffic) but I've got nothing. The truth is way more boring. I ran a few miles one day and later that night felt like I pulled something. Then on a run a few days later the pain came back so much I couldn't finish my run and ended up limping a mile back home. Little did I know that I probably developed a stress fracture a few days before and then completely broke my calcaneus (heel) on my next run.

But at first I thought I had simply strained a muscle and had doctors advice to walk on heels for the next few days (yay for some new wedges!) But after weeks of pain, x-rays, an MRI, and even a second opinion, I was placed on non-weight bearing orders and given crutches and a scooter. (You heard me right - I have a scooter complete with a basket that I refuse to attach for reasons of pride. When practicality takes over I will let you know.)

So I am currently going on week 12 of a broken foot, extremely limited mobility, and fairly intense pain. And all I can tell you is this what not in the plans.

It's been rough. Crutches take an incredible amount of strength and agility I quickly learned I don't really have. Limited mobility has really put a kink in my style. And now we're moving across town in two and a half weeks.

Are. you. kidding. me.


When you can't walk you can't do things you otherwise take for granted.

Everything takes double the time and energy.

You have to ask others for help.

When you can't walk to you have to slow down.


The bottom line: when I haven't been able to walk I've had a chance to stop and listen to God. And to be honest, I haven't liked what he's been telling me lately.

My M.O. is multi-tasking, efficiency, and independence. And for the past 12 weeks all of that has been absolutely wrecked. I'm in a space in life where I am literally needing to sit down and hear his voice: Slow down. Take time to notice. Be thankful for the mundane. Allow others to be a blessing to you. When everything in me wants to be able to move faster, do more, and rely on my own strength, a good God takes my circumstance to remind me of the good news.


He gives sweet gifts that are all around for me to notice.

Taking the time to invest in the eternal is valuable.

Giving others the opportunity to graciously serve me is humbling and necessary.


And slowing down enough to recognize that my brokeness always leads to more of his glory.




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