Wednesday, September 2, 2015

disney disclaimer

We've been planning our trip to Disney for almost 2 years now. As you can imagine, we've been planning and dreaming and hopeful about this vacation to create sweet once-in-a-lifetime memories for our family. We leave tomorrow. And just last week our lives got hit with a bomb. One of the life-changing kind that makes you stop in your tracks and feels like a punch in the gut when you're not prepared.


And like any family in our position, we wondered, "Should we still go?" With much prayer and even godly counsel we're still packing up to go to Florida in less than 24 hours.

Honestly, we're headed to "the happiest place on earth" during a really dark time for our family. This is one of those times that I wonder at God's sovereignty. Not if He is or not. But what in the world must be in store for us. (Admittedly for all the weeks for our lives to hit the fan, the week before Disney would not have been my first pick.) This is one of those times I trust that He is good and wise and kind. One of the times I put all my hope and trust in the Gospel and still wonder what purpose He has.

In a world where Instagram feeds only tell half the story, I guess I wanted mine to tell all of it (or at least most of it). That you'll probably see us posed in front of a magical castle, laughing with Mickey, and having a grand time. Our smiles will be real. The memories created will be beautiful. But they (like so many things in life) will also be mixed with heartache and grief. In a crazy way this trip will memorialize beauty and ashes for the four of us.

I guess I wanted to let you know you're not the only one who smiles genuinely for the camera but also has spaces of grief where the picture doesn't tell the whole story.

I'm learning to be more comfortable with this reality. The in between of living life when things can be wonderful and horrible; bitter and sweet all at the same time. Both can be true in the same moment. It's the grace He gives to live in the already and not yet of His kingdom 

I'm thankful God is gifting our family with a vacation filled with sweet memories and I'll take it as His grace, even in the midst of brokenness.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Susan- I found your blog over a year ago and have checked in from time to time. This post was so beautiful I had to write you a comment. Your phrasing, your words, your courage to step into a beautiful adventure amidst a time of brokenness and to give yourself permission- (and us too)- was just what I needed to be reminded of. Thank you! I hope your trip is wonderful!

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    Replies
    1. Sarah - thanks for your sweet words! Amen to permission for brokenness, even in the midst of life and even celebration...

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